enfin's reality, pop culture

yogi breaths

that’s all i’ve been doing all day.  this has been possibly the worst weekend i’ve experienced in a while.  i’ll gladly take a hangover during work any day over what’s happened in the past two days.

i hate how people don’t understand what effect their words have on me.  they don’t even know it, in fact, it will never ever occur to them that the smallest things that they perceive to be entirely justified absolutely kill me inside.

work has been absolutely swamped this weekend, and today there really wasn’t a moment to breathe, which really did a number on me.  especially since i spent a good deal of time in the hospital yesterday, with my grandmother which was emotionally taxing.  there have been numerous moments where i just want to break down and cry, and there have been the same amount of moments where i’ve wanted to shriek until my voice left me forever.  there’s just so much going on, and the people who should be there, aren’t, and it all feels like a repeat of june 2009.

i leave bright and early for montreal tomorrow.  i’m pretty excited to be frank, but i know that i’m bringing over so much stress and anxiety, which i obviously wish i could leave behind in the US.

in regards to the social sector of my life, i feel like there have been so many hills and valleys in the past few weeks, and i’m just so tired of it all.  i’m tired of people saying one thing, and then doing other things that just completely negate their words.  i’m tired of being disappointed and easily irritated.  and also, some people just need to chill the fuck out, and learn to account for their words and actions in a responsible manner.

at this moment, the only things i’m looking forward to are work next weekend, dinner at Hugo’s on the 8th, and going back to school.  i don’t really have any desire to spend time with people over break unless they’re family members.  everyone else, i’ve just realized i’m very short with and will more than likely snap at.

a nice cup of iced vietnamese coffee would do me a world of wonder right now.  and perhaps when i wake up at 5am, i’ll want to be social again.  maybe it’s just the fact that i’m absolutely exhausted that i feel this way right now.  it could also be that i’m very sad and very lonely.  but whatever the reason, i hope it gets resolved sooner rather than later.

then again, i’ve been known to dwell in my sorrow- but, i’ll try not to do that now.

enfin

Advertisements
Standard
enfin's reality, music

blue skies are calling

Tumblr_l0pe8l6lza1qzagw2o1_500_large

NO SCHOOL FOR 5 DAYS.  i’m in raptures to say the least, partly because i’ve had some vin blanc, and partly because i’m exhausted, but it’s so nice to know that i don’t have to worry about homework, about exams, about awkward situations, about waking up on time.  i can busy myself with trivial concerns like what should i pack for the holiday? when should i bake the cranberry currant tarte? what should my weekend consist of? the more trivial, the better i believe! i ought to express my sincere apologies for the lack of blogging on my end (but truth be told, i’m not too sorry).  lately my life has been consumed with occurrences, with new people, new places, new emotions.  i can’t say that i’d want it any other way, and to put it frankly, the upcoming times won’t allow me too much time to blog.  i’m not saying this is the end of floating over babylon.  BY NO MEANS is this the end.  i just can’t commit to posting every few days anymore, but at the same time, i do promise that i will do as much as i can.  i’ll jump the gun now, and tell you what the purpose of the post is.  ONE: recent happenings, TWO: TSA bullshit policy, THREE: reflections, FOUR: lookbook.

Tumblr_lbegol8yw71qaritoo1_500_large

tonight was perfect.  i woke up and it was misty and mild, walked all the way to school and listened to noah and the whale and typhoon (good AM combo), finished the day, ran home, slept for five hours, ate some hummus, TRAVELED TO FIGA, and had a wonderful last meal with A.  we ran into some wonderful english teachers and spent a while engaged in a fulfilling conversation with them, and also chatted a great deal with an older couple who sat next to us.  we indulged in sev crusted scallops, wild boar rendang, tandoori chicken, meatloaf, a trio of creme brulees (lemongrass, orange cardamom, and chocolate espresso).  this past weekend i spent some much needed time with my little brother, ate a lot of cherry garcia, went roller skating, worked and decorated and produced/composed my first ever window display (GO LOOK AT IT), and had a movie marathon.  tomorrow: yoga, cranberry currant tarte, train to boston, family dinner, etc. etc. did i mention that i’m so incredibly happy?

Tumblr_lcdamftl8t1qcloefo1_500_large

screw the TSA.  i’m not one who travels too far during the holiday season ( thank god for new england ), but for the past three nights ABC news with diane sawyer has focused on the measures the TSA is taking this holiday season.  of course it’s wise to take precaution, especially since the threat of terror has been increased as of late, but the extent they’re taking it is RIDICULOUS.  this won’t be the most eloquent opinion i’ve ever put forth, but i need to get it out, so here goes nothing.  pat downs have existed for a very long time in the world, and ever since they were first used, nobody has enjoyed them.  but the new version of pat downs being used by the TSA are appalling.  they encroach on groping, and when a TSA employee is groping an 8 year old child, you know something is wrong.  they are invasive, and time consuming.  in addition, a TSA employee should be able to use their instinct and trust their intuition about a person.  surely it’s not common for a 65 year old woman is not a terrorist (then again, it is possible, but how many 65 year old women have you heard about that are terrorists? i can say i’ve never heard of a single one).  the lack of common sense in regards to the TSA’s new policies is what bothers me.  it’s both time consuming and overly cautious.  of course the safety of all should be put above convenience for a single person- but in other news, when has utilitarianism ever been important to the USA before now? let’s just use common sense and not strip an 8 year old girl down in the middle of an airport because her barrette set off the metal detector.  plus, who wants to be groped at any age? pas moi.

so as i mentioned, i am incredibly happy.  ridiculously happy that my head hurts, and that i can’t even figure out how i’ve gotten to this point in my life.  everything is right, everything makes sense.  i’m appreciating what i have, not thinking about what i don’t have.  my family is healthy, my friends are sane, and i’m being treated like i should have been a long time ago.  of course the only thing wrong is that i’ve been sleep deprived for the past three weeks or so.  but that’s curable.  sort of.  there are always hills and valleys in life, and currently, i’m walking up one of those really high hills that is promising and rewarding.  i’m flourishing in this new environment, and i’m thankful for all i have, for all i know, and for all to come.  connections are undeniable, emotions are not hindered, rather they are facilitated.  i’ve been able to cook, i’ve been able to clear my head.  i’ve just entered this new stage in life, and i’m so glad that it’s come now, rather than sooner or later.

i’ll leave you with this video- because it’s so good and you should watch it.  OH YEAH.  i’m reviving my lookbook, so get your hype on.  i’m sorry about the bad news in regards to a small amount of posting, but hopefully soon i’ll get my act together and update frequently.  i’ll make it clear when that will happen- perhaps 2011? a hiatus is sort of needed to be frank.  HAPPY THANKSGIVING & HOLIDAYS.

enfin smiles love and hugs.

Standard
enfin's reality, photography

quiet reminders in the middle of the night

to be honest, i feel like i am avoiding the world.  there is a group of people that i haven’t seen all summer- and at this point, i don’t even know if i plan on seeing them.  i am so content hiding out here- living the way i have been.  i don’t know what type of comfort i’m searching for, seeing as i’m quite comfortable now.  5 days until i start the final leg of my summertime.  i’m anxious yet i’m taking it as it comes.  i interviewed today- and i’m hoping the best comes out of it.  i also realized that there comes a point where every friendship expires.  this one in particular is hard to comprehend, because i know it shouldn’t be ending- but it is.  and i’m reluctant to stop it.  oddly enough.

it saddens me how close the end is near.  this summer has been primo in comparison to the past.  but that’s how life is.  i am always incredibly excited for my monthly horoscope, and this is what august 2010 says for capricorns born january 1-10th:

travel and educational plans might change unexpectedly after the 20th. Pay attention to details instead of rushing through instructions, applications, and other plans. In some cases, rethinking your plans might be in order. A flurry of activity around the 24th is likely, which could find you running around on errands. Try not to stress out and instead get everything back to order one step at a time.

With all of the attention you are pouring into career, family, and personal matters, dear Capricorn, you could feel that a partnership is wanting. However, while you can’t ignore your close relationships, your attention to career is especially important right now. New responsibilities and challenges come your way and you need to be on top of your game. Luckily, you are enjoying the limelight and finding that others are seeing you in a most positive, responsible, and competent light. The need to discipline yourself and structure your time on a professional level becomes apparent.

i finally scanned and uploaded some film, see below:

taken on fourth of july- coastal maine

self-portrait

dancing and flower crowns

mid-may

mr. ryan nolan

quebec city, quebec

salut! -enfin

Standard
enfin's reality

oceanic adventure

running off to mount desert island for the last week of august to camp and stay in the hostel with a.  hikes, evening swims, this way cafe, sails, and sleepin in the great outdoors.  my kinda living.

sooo hooot

hoooooootttttttttttttt

hoootttttttttttttttttttttttt outside.

sailed to cliff island today, and rode around on the back of a pickup truck, almost fell out, ate some scrumped raspberries, jumped off the ferry dock, and scraped my knee up real bad and rad. sunburned and possibly dead. so tired. falling asleep now.  could use a real snooze. tomorrow 4 hour boat ride. then thursday and friday scuba diving.  guess what the weekend brings? a campout on long island with a rather lovely group of people, and then i’m gone… starting monday for 13 days to walpole, bristol, pemaquid, and stonington.  oh shnap.

enfin love.

Standard
enfin's reality

holidays in the near future

Tumblr_l45x5jujtf1qc4b4io1_500_large

ah, so today is my last day of summer.  isn’t that rather morbid to think about? well it’s true, from now on i am involved with ocean studies and then off to korea for 2 weeks in august.  it’s absurd how quickly time flies.  a 3 hour boat ride today, basically did me in for sunburns.  blotches all about my pale skin, mark the beginning of my oceanic adventure, and i don’t mind to be honest.  whilst traveling the seas, i planned our upcoming vacation for aug 2011.  i know that’s a year plus away, but the way a and i do things, we need to plan in advance or nothing gets done. 

4062509065_962994505f_large

here’s the great part about our holiday in 2011- it’s a 20 day trek on the west coast.  yes… motherfucker, yes.  so wonderful and such a long time, but sooo great.  we both wanted the same things, so i’m rather enthused.  we’ll start in washington state, where we will camp near the forks on the pacific ocean at a beach site for 4 nights.  we’ll head from the forks to seatle for 3 nights and adventure the city and drink some coffee.  we are considering a 2 night trip to vancouver as well, but the logistics of this happening…well, i suppose they’re great… so let’s forget i began this sentence.  after vancouver its onward to oregon- portland, oregon! our sister city! 4 nights there and then takin’ the train all the way to BAJA California. insane to think that we will be on a train for a good two days.  when we arrive in baja, we plan on beach camping for 2 nights and then a night in a hostel.  neither of us want to spend a ton of time down in baja, so to conclude our trip we will spend 1 night in san jose and three nights in san fransisco- and of course… after all that is done, we shall return to portland and face the consequences of going away.

Tumblr_l53jj4cvcc1qafocqo1_500_large

besides my trek out west, i am traveling to some other places this upcoming year! south korea is my next destination- aug 7th through the 21st.  in october, a trip to new orleans will occur- a long weekend is assumed.  and then in november a trip to montreal and quebec city will embrace a and me! for mardi gras i will be visitin’ new orleans once again, and then in april a trip to durham will most likely happen.  i’d like to travel to montana as well- perhaps in june of ’11.  traveling is one of my most favorite things, so i’m so glad that i get to do a lot of it for the next year or so!

props to karma for helpin’ me out.

enfin

Standard
enfin's reality

today has been absolutely wonderful.  regardless of how early i awoke, i’ve had the most pleasant day.  it started with strawberry picking in scarborough- and these berries were so delicious and juicy and mouth watering, it made me want to pick like 80 pints. i got sunkissed and freckled and then i walked up the east end, bought some iced coffee with soy supp, and then began work.  now i’m headed to SPACE to see Ted Leo & The Rx.  So frikin excited.  ecstacy excited.  tomorrow brings adventures with mr sean, and i hope to buy a new nose ring & get it changed- although i’m dreading the pain.  monday i’m with miss lily and hopefully we’ll head to the beach.  on tuesday, miss annie, who i haven’t seen in ages, a trip to salvie’s and higgins is truly in order. and finally, wednesday, miss bela, how i’ve missed the darling.  clothing swap and all that jazz.  i’m planning on getting out of maine on the 29th or 30th, and catchin’ a flight to MSY.  tomorrow is daughter’s day, i’ll be begging for a roundtrip ticket down south, and on thursday, miss m will be back from EUROPE.  it’s almost been an entire year since my father passed away, and i’m feeling it.  i don’t know what to expect on the 28th, but i know that he wouldn’t want me to be sad. his life was short- and as they say, only the good die young.  i’ve been overly emotional the past week- not to mention, girly. i’m not taking to heart my horoscopes, because at this point in time, i don’t know if i trust them.  to do.

-buy b&w film
-buy color film
– short shorts & bathing suit
-beach days
-strawberry picking
-iced coffee
-the eNOh
-ART WALKin
-jazz@loc.
-finish life of pi
-yard saling
-baking
-dinner party
-get dolled up
-grow my hair out
-be realistic
-accept grief
-be pleasant
-take photos
-finish a story
-write some poetry
-go swimming
-see more fireflies
-be sociable
-change nose ring (OUCH)

Standard