enfin's reality

where do i begin?

I don’t know what to say other than sorry.  You must understand that the past two months have been overwhelmingly busy- so many weekends wasted with SATs, preparing for exams, prom, graduation, beach trips, working brunches, final projects, becoming a senior, planning college visits, and being with friends and family.  I’ll try and provide you with a decent update- but bear with me! Before I delve into what I’ve been up to for the past two months or so, I must warn you, I’m about to leave for 3 weeks and I’ll be without internet and phone reception until July 10th or so.  I’m headed up to the White Mountains to play some tennis, and come back a changed person.  Without getting too enthralled, I must say that I’m really excited.  But let’s change the subject.

I’ve told you about the new kitten already.  She remains nameless, though I’ve been considering calling her Killer because she killed my fish Johnny.  But if you have any ideas please send them to me.  She’s a little fireball, full of energy and no limitations.  She’s pretty spiteful towards people who discipline her too… it’s quite funny! But I love her nonetheless, and she’s made a wonderful addition to our little family.

Memorial Day Weekend rendered a lot of fuuuun.  I went to the beach for the first time with my good friend Hanae, and then a few days later found myself at Fenway watching a White Sox v. Red Sox game with Sam.  We got tickets for his graduation present and even though the White Sox won, we had a lot of fun.  The next day, Sam and I headed into the North End and explored a bit.  On Salem Street we found the most wonderful cafe- Cafe Nuovo, there’s a review on Vin et Grub- so click here to read it!

The rest of that week was full of exams- which ended up turning out quite well.  I didn’t fail a single one, even though I felt like I failed three out of five.  That Saturday ended up being prom which was a nice time.  Really low key, and full of great moments with friends.  Our photos didn’t turn out that well- turns out Sam and I are really bad at taking photos together, but needless to say we had fun.  The next morning we woke up super early and got breakfast at Beckys before I had to work brunch.  Personally, I thought it was a really nice way to end the week.

Monday brought the class picnic, which proved eventful.  I got the worst sunburn of my life, and a kid hit a woman in the face with a baseball, and she needed to be taken away by an ambulance.  It was nice to be outside and see my classmates, even though it was really hot and we were at one of my least favorite locations in Maine.  Tuesday was pretty relaxing too.  I made some blueberry ice cream- recipe soon to be posted on Vin et Grub, played some tennis, and had a low key evening in Westbrook.  Wednesday was a little different- final day of school- our exams were handed back, and then I headed to Pai Men and ate Ramen with Hanae.  We later drove to her house in Freeport, and went to a baseball game in Wiscasset to see Sam and some of our other friends play.  The night ended with some delicious Japanese Curry Rice!

Thursday was such a nice day in my opinion.  Hanae and I drove to Popham early in the morning, and almost fell asleep in the sand.  It was sooo warm out- almost 93 degrees.  We had to go to our tennis team picnic in Buxton, but luckily we got to swim in a nice pool and play some tennis on clay courts- a rare treat up north.  That night was pretty nice too, I went to Westbrook again and watched some Pokemon! I know that sounds awfully childish, but sometimes I really like to watch old tv shows that bring me back to my childhood.  Friday was my favorite day though.  I woke up really early and drove down to Arundle with my favorite coworker Miranda, and we went antiquing! In the afternoon, I drove over to the fields to watch Sammy graduate, and afterwards we went out to dinner with a party of nine.  Around 10 or so, we found ourselves at Higgins Beach, sitting and looking at the stars.  After a really quick nighttime swim, we jumped into the car and sped to Portland, where our night ended with a few episodes of Cops and other trashy tv programs.

I feel like I’ve lost my knack for writing– but I promise it’ll come back.  I guess I just wanted to prove to you guys that I have been incredibly busy and there’s been little time for blogging.  I promise that as the summer progresses I’ll become a better blogger.

Sorry this has been a really boring post! I need to go get ready for an 8:30 Res at a mysterious restaurant, and I’ll try posting a few more times before I leave for tennis in NH!


enfin's reality, photography

let’s play catch-up

hi, how are you? i’m good thanks for asking.  and just in case you forgot, i’m enfin and this is my blog which has been neglected for the past month and a half or so.  i must apologize on many different levels, but as i mentioned in the recent past, my life has taken a turn that i did not expect.  i don’t mean that in a negative scary sense, in fact it’s a really good change- much needed, and much appreciated.  i contemplated ending this blog- taking an extended hiatus if you will, and it seems as if i did- but that’s only because my precious laptop broke in the midst of exams, and also because the holidays came and went, and then just this past week i celebrated my birthday.  classes are in full swing again, i’ve made it my resolution to stop procrastinating- to get things done on time, to be efficient, to be productive, the be the student i’ve always been.  a side note- my other resolution is making blogging the most regular of duties.  from santa i received a nikon dx 3000, which is making the photography aspect much easier on the eyes.  so expect regular posts once i get my new macbook air (in three-four days).

i miss blogging more than you would assume.  i’ve been writing restaurant reviews, adapting recipes, and i have so much to share on vin et grub it’s surprising- seeing as i usually have limited material.  i miss having an outlet to the outside world, one where i can say what i need to say, acquire knowledge that inspires me to take on new projects, and give me that extra little oomph that gets me through my days.

the other reason why i haven’t been blogging, besides exams, winter break, and a broken laptop is because i’m spending my time with cherished and loved ones (this is my way of saying that i met someone… and i now have a boyfraan, who i must add, is ridiculously spectacular and understands me better than most).  i have this life that i’ve cultivated, one that i’ve been yearning and one that i’ve finally received after seventeen years.  relationships in my family are the best they’ve been in a long time, and it’s not everyday (although for the past two and half months it has been) that i wake up smiling and i fall asleep smiling.

i was really pleased this past birthday- entering my seventeenth year to receive twenty friends at a semi-surprise party.  as a capricorn, i need to be involved in everything, i hate outright surprises, and i like to lead, so it’s only customary for me to have had part in planning my own party.  but it was the best time i’ve ever had on a birthday.  a reservation for 21 at local 188, paella, quail eggs, steak tartare, chocolate chocolate cupcakes, goat cheese salads, scallops, braised short ribs, culinary feats conquered.  the best company i’ve ever had, and just all around smiles and good vibes.  i spent last evening in boston, where we had a reservation at petit robert bistro, and enjoyed good conversation, culinary excellency, and family time.  i’m headed home to portland today to spend time with my peach, and then i guess i’ll sleep a good sleep all to enter another week at the flete.  but i must say, this is the absolute happiest i’ve been in the past two years, and i’m just in this euphoria- this absolute bliss where everything is fine and dandy, where i’m looking forward to the next day just as much as i’m enjoying the moment.

tell me how you’ve been! tell me about your resolutions, your holidays, your fresh start to 2011.  i want to hear it all.


enfin's reality

mouthful of diamonds

this was the best cake i have ever made, and it was for the best person i know.

i’m going to be absent for five or six more days, and then i promise, regular enfin posts will appear.  i think an SLR camera is underneath my tree, thus it’ll force me to blog my heart out.  no worries.  go eat some winter fare, wish me luck on my exams, and i’ll catch you on the flipflop LATEER.

enfin's reality

congregation at beacon hill

it’s been a while, i know, i know.  and to be honest, i’ve been making the effort to blog, but every night i’m busy from four to eleven, and when the latter rolls around, i’m ready to crawl into my bed, curl up with trout, and cherish the mere seven hours i have to sleep until i wake up and rinse and repeat.  for the first time yesterday, i didn’t know what to do with myself with my spare time.  we were driving to spring street cafe, and i saw a school, and the oddest sensation came over me.  i wanted to be in a classroom, with the comforting ticking of a clock playing in the background, reading primary source documents about russia’s medieval history.  i’m being serious- please believe me.  it’s almost as if i’m addicted to school.  and the truth of the matter is that, i don’t enjoy school when i’m there, but when i’m outside of it, and i’m not doing anything stimulating, all i want to do is be challenged in a classroom.  i hope this says something about my adaptation skills- clearly, i’ve been able to adapt to the new school, though now that’s all that seems to matter to me.  that’s all that should matter at this point.

things to discuss that are worthwhile;

again, i find myself in cambridge/JP/boston, and i’ll be departing tomorrow late afternoon, all to find myself at home with two cats once again.  it’ll be a lonely week- and i will be looking forward to the arrival of A! i cannot wait to see her, and i cannot express how impatient i am for that day to roll around.  in the time that she’s been MIA in new hampshire, i’ve realized how much of a best friend she is to me.  i’ve also become hyper-aware of the fact that i’m pretty anti-social when it comes down to it.  while i enjoy spending time with people, i only enjoy company that means something to me- and as i’ve discovered, good company is hard to come by these days.  though, truth be told, i’ve met quite the girl at my new school.  she’s vivacious and intricately woven- similar to me in a lot of ways- odd in her own, but i like her, and we spent a tad bit of time this past wednesday with one another, journeying to the farmer’s market where we splurged a major dollar and three quarters on delicious apples- and then we conversed about the best and worst moments in our lives above the square for quite some time until we both parted for separate reasons.  it’s irksome to try and express what it feels like to be in the company of a friend.  speaking of friends, i’ve spent more time with Mr. I than originally expected.  all is swell on that front, even if we only see each other for an hour every few days, the time i get with him, i’m very happy to have.  his friendship means so much to me, and i was nervous upon starting my new school that perhaps a fallout would be around the corner, though at this point, it does not seem probable.  i miss my dear M, though i’ve come to terms with the fact that she is far away and i can’t expect to see her as much as i do come the sunny season.  in addition, i’ve also accepted that while we used to have very very habitual phone calls, they cannot always happen.  not only is she busy, but i am too.  it saddens me, but what is the entire point of a phone call? while it brings me a bit closer to her, by means of a voice, i know that i will end up sad when we hang up.  so as of late, we haven’t had too many conversations, though i’ve decided that that’s alright, because she is the sort of person that i can just pick up where we left off the last time- and those sorts of people are so hard to come across.




as i’m not too sociable, i thought that perhaps i’d like to share the prospect of my writing a play.  for performing arts, i’ve decided to spend my mondays and thursdays making progress on a play that i’ve pondered over for quite some time.  while i’m not sure how much i will be able to put into it, i would like to have a script ready by the end of february so i could possibly put it on.  but deadlines scare me, and i have to meet many this upcoming year.  in october i have the psats, in december i have the japan scholarship deadline, in january i have SATs round one, and come february the script is due.  i hate to put a creative outlet on hold, but when comparing its merit to the others, i know that it’s last on my to-do list.  i almost am saddened by the fact that i haven’t shot any rolls of film- though at this point, i realize that it to be quite trivial seeing as i can’t afford film, i have nothing to shoot, and where has my time gone.  in addition, i haven’t even begun my fall shifts.  the christmas season is when i work at the store, and clearly, i haven’t put too much thought into trying to make a schedule for this fall.  everything is happening so fast- i have things to occupy myself with every day until 3, and that would give me two hours of work a day.  that’s not much, though i suppose, if it made sense, i could go in every day for two hours, on my off saturdays for 5, and then on wednesdays another 5.  it’s all a matter of how busy i want to be.  but i’m thinking in terms of a stable income… so i suppose i’m willing to tire myself out, and then take a long-needed break come january until march, when competitive tennis rolls around.  i’m so content with everything right now.  while i miss summer, i’m partial to sweaters and corduroys and frye boots, over daisy dukes and t-shirts.  i love autumn farmers markets, and this means that thanksgiving is right around the corner.  my semester ends two weeks before christmas, so my overall stress level out to be reduced by that point, and new classes begin the day i get back off of winter break.  if i had to be outright frank with you (hello redundancy) i’d say that i’m so pleased with life right now, even though i’m crazy busy.  i’m happy to be blogging again, and i’m really going to try quite hard to blog at least three times a week.  perhaps soon, excerpts of the play will appear, original prints, and drawings will be scanned.  oh, and the importance of weekends have kindly been emphasized since the school year has commenced- and i’m oh so glad that i look forward to the glorious weekends once again.

so many cups o’ coffee, so much nature, so much yoga, so much knowledge, need i much more than what i’ve been given? i say not.




 today was absolutely wunderbar.  we had a fest on charles street, ate at artu1, and ended up in copley.  as for the folks at the freedom fest: legalize it benefit, i’d like to express my sincere and blunt opinion- no pun intended.  to say the least, i think it silly the united states has yet to legalize marijuana, while i am not one who indulges in herbal practices, i think its harmless, and the reason why it tends to be controversial is the sole fact that its been illegal for quite sometime.  if we want to reduce marijuana related crimes, than legalize it for godsake.  besides that, i have no reason to advocate for the legalization of the drug- regardless of the fact that its less harmful than alcohol and tobacco.  but i digress.  the point i wanted to make to all those colourful characters and performers i spotted in the common is simple.  the majority of you are the reason why marijuana is illegal. you’re irresponsible, trashy, and impulsive.  you are narcissists, and no wonder why many folks are opposed to legalizing marijuana.  you all give the cause a face, and its not an appealing one.  when i’m accosted by your fellow advocates who are baked out of their skulls, when i see  you lighting up in front of a boston police officer, when you expose young children to the drug, and when i see you sitting on the curb appearing to have not much of a life, why would i ever support your cause? if you want people to back you, then you give them a reason.  your sorry face who doesn’t pay taxes, who thinks that they’re sticking it to the man, who is “rebellious” (yeah fuckin’ right), and who is intouch with mother earth, outrage me.  stop talking about lighting up your dad.  why does anyone want to hear that? why is it all about shock value? the more shocking you are, the more disgraceful you tend to be.  i was saddened to see the people at this rally.  while the overall purpose, legalizing something that shouldn’t be illegal in the first place is just in sentiment, oftentimes the people who represent said cause are not worthy to do so.

enfinoui is back with a rather opinionated entrance.

enfin's reality, music

whirlpools and whirlwinds


happy september.  can you feel that fall nip in the air? i’m not quite sure if i can, but hey… it’ll be here before any of us knows it.  i know i’ve been MIA for a little while, and i have perfectly good excuses.  they are as follows: i’m still experiencing my let down depression and that makes it difficult for me to write because i tend to turn the subject to the summertime and it makes me even more sad, i went on outdoor experience with my new school- we traveled to katahdin and went on a very long canoeing expedition, and since then i’ve been trying to catch up with sleeping and celebrating the final days of my best summer ever.


yesterday was full of great things- waking up late, get low, dinner at sonny’s (chicken enchilladas, cheeseburger, fried avacado, raspberry sangria sorbet, etc.), breaking down and buying lords of dogtown and roger dodger for under $10, pedis, and season 7 of entourage!! iced tea with A, and talking about everything and anything really helped put things in perspective for me. 

it was a very weird transition from being in seoul to camping at katahdin.  so loud and busy than became so quite and idle.  mankind at its most innovative transformed into nature at it’s best.  while i was laying in my tent on the first night, i realized that everything A had been saying about this all being relevant made sense.  whereever you are in life, more life is going on around you.  the more life you experience will mean different things for different people.  as i’ve mentioned in previous posts, once things begin to change, they change drastically.  i believe my fresh start at a new school is relevant and in cahoots with this past summer.  i don’t know what to expect, i don’t know what’s around the bend- and to be honest, i don’t want to know until everything happens.  life is what it is, and why not enjoy everything for once.  continuing this trend, about it all being relevant, clearly the way life evolves is relevant too.  i’ve been reading northanger abbey, and comparing the lifestyle back then to the lifestyle currently, is crazy.  jane austen depcits a society in which it is mandatory for a woman and a man to find their star-crossed lover STAT.  nowadays, while it’s still a focus, it’s not the only focus.  it’s more a matter of personal preference. 

things are just spinning around and around, and if i had to be honest, i would tell you everything keeps me up at night now.


the prospect of having a new unexpected friend excites me to the utmost extent- and i think that’s a muy bueno thing,

letting time carry on, trying to prevent this saddness from sinking further within my mind

cravings for outings and spottings have been increasing rapidly this lovely september morning-

i’m quite ready for routine i suppose… even though as i typed that my first thought was WHAT THE FUCK?

brunch at locs when A returns from yoga,


everything seems to have sorted themselves out for the time being.  i guess you could say i’m in a very good position.

september monthly horoscope says:

More than any other time during the year, you are feeling most adventurous and willing to take a leap of faith. This is a cycle in which you seek a higher meaning to your life, and/or seek out new experiences that take you beyond the here and now, and beyond the mundane details of day-to-day life. Anything that broadens your experiences attracts now. A lack of superficiality finds you straight to the point, interested in the truth of things.

enfin's reality, music

clear as day but in the night



ciao ciao ciao blogosphere as well as city-life.  going on a two week adventure filled with camping and sailing and no cell-phone reception/internet connection (thank you!!).  so ready to get away from this town, from these people, from this house. getting back into timber timbre– can’t tell if that’s bueno ou non; proffers memories into my mind which i’d prefer stay where they were.  but they’re a phenomenal band, so what can i say? almost done with tao of pooh. been eating a lot of flax seed infused yoghurt, wishing i were a musician, and trying to get rid of these terrible tanlines.  speaking of tan lines…

and just because i’m contemplative:

i had a near death experience friday- i’m still a bit shaken up, but i’m here, breathing, feeling, being. afterwards, i sat reading in the sun, “zenned out” as my colleagues have determined. hopin’ to have a scanner by the 25th so i can start postin’ some film shots. silly’s last night, with late night walks on the east end trail, and i finally bought wristcutters- so glad i did. i’m quite content with the approach i’ve had lately. it’s kind of wu wei. and i couldn’t be more glad. sun-rises and fruit and cats and ocean and boats.  poetry, photos, mixed tape, and the latest ‘ssip to be posted when i return.  until then, stay classy motherrrrfuckers.


enfin's reality




the beach kissed me and my hair is stiff with salt, cheeks tinted with sun, and ankles still covered in sand.  i’ve been eating incredibly healthy lately- tons of grain and veggies and lots of daoist books on the side. i’m preparing myself to embark upon an oceanic adventure starting tuesday ending july 30th.  soaking my skin in tea tree oil and sipping kava kava team whilst reading and drawing and writing. i like life when it’s as simple as it is now.  in addition, i am glad that it’s rather lovely outside.  maybe, just maybe blowing my hard-earned cash at a yardsale tomorrow morning, and then i will most definitely be camping at the beach, until further notice.