enfin's reality, writing

alive

ah i want to look like her!

this girl is certainly one of my best friends. she’s supported me through a very rough time in my life, and i will never be able to thank her enough.  she lives too far away from me, and while the past  few months have been rough on both of us- we never seem to talk anymore, i want her to know that i will always love her.  quite recently she lost someone whom she was very close to, and i’ve been thinking of her ever since that occurred.  seeing her so distressed really took a toll on me emotionally, and i just want her to know that everything will brighten up down the road.  i’ll always be there for my dearest M, and i want you to do everything you can that would have made her proud.

xoxo,

e

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enfin's reality

infatuation

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exam day 1- down, conquered, never to be revived. besdies the test, i had quite the day. i spent an hour or two developing film, and then i came home & made a sandwich. journied to the market house and ran into a few people who mean a good amount to me. learned how to play chess, browsed salvies, met with M, stranded in a hailstorm thunder storm torrential down-pour, cleaned my heart out and made orange soy maple steak. i’m going to finish studying, take a bath, and go to bed. waking up early to cram, drink my almond milk, and get to class on time. summer is tangible.

enfin

postscriptum: after exams, going to the farmer’s market, with mere, looking for dc worthy clothing, and studying a bit. evening falls, scallops sear and the night never ends. early morning trip to the pier to watch the sunrise and eat mangoes and peaches.

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enfin's reality

the lighter died.

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tandem bikes listen to that by the LK.

here i am. in north carolina. for the first time. ever. unless a trip to the charlotte airport counts, although, i highly doubt that it truly does.  yesterday was a long day of travel, tons of delays and bumpy skies and busy roads. but all in all, i got to durham/chapel hill an hour later than expected, in one piece.  M was at her trackmeet, but i didn’t see her throw because i was late. late. late. i suppose that should have been assumed in the first place, but what is done, is done. chick-fil-a (still can’t get over the spelling… i suppose new englanders want to add that filet in instead of the fil-a…) filled our stomachs, and i slept a good sleep, all until i was woke up early this morning to visit DA. it was a school, and that was my very impression. my only impression too. sure schools tend to differ in material, but all have the same sense of an educational establishment which one becomes familiarized with over the course of their 13 years in public edu. or private, or what have you. anyway, i read outside for sometime- something i rarely have the chance to do in maine, and that made me happy. then we ventured to a thai cafe and to m’s infamous lo-yo and we had a superb time talking. all this “update” writing is making me feel out of place. seeing as i’m currently reading catcher in the rye for the thousandth time, i feel like holden, and i am viewing everything as “phony”. its unfortunate, yeah? anyway…

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o, how i’d love a party like the above. summertime is approaching! m, annie, and i will drive to the coast and eat strawberries and blackberries, and dance to k’naan and tunng and all the good summer music.  we’ll eat oranges and sip tea on the maine state pier at 5am, and we’ll build forts and go on bike rides, and take many many photos. i’m really counting on the upcoming season of liberty to be the best one yet- seeing as last year’s sucked so bad. see my nice inclusion of slang? anyway, ive sent out good energy to the deities of summer to ensure that the three of us have the best vacation of our lives thus far. parties, and friends (if we need them) and lunches and brunches and movies and music all the way.

oh hi enfin, you are as BA as its been rumored.

memoria teneo, as i have mentioned in a previous post, did in fact happen- hence the proof, first of two photos. the second, is a quaint little rue en quebec, where i found this market that four young boys in their 20s with lots of tattoos and gauges worked in. they sold me a baguette and i played fetch with their golden retriever for a brief moment until i ran up the road to get a good shot of the chateau on my trusty ricoh. i miss quebec, but i like the south too! we’re planning an allnighter (which i can say is overdue) and a fortification and perhaps a picnic and a trip to some of m’s most mentionable places en durham/c.hill/raleigh or i think i will refer to current location as RDU just like their airport. it will be nice to visit cambridge on sunday however, i haven’t visited since… february? i don’t recall any travels in march, however, it is entirely possible. a mixed tape is coming when i get back in the 617 or 207, depending on my mood and how i budget my time. i’m switching between, the crying of lot 49, V, How to Write Compelling Fiction- which i must add is quite delicious- and catcher in the rye (boring).

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stupid couple is so stupidly cute.

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i’m so happy that the spring has finally graced us.

enfinoui

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enfin's reality, Uncategorized

sense and sensibility

this past week went by way too fast.  life has caught up with me, and i have been feeling as though time has been slipping through my fingers.  today- saturday, i am so tired.  i slept a total of four hours, but that’s average for a weekend.  i think the only reason why i’m feeling this way is because of the position that i slept in.  wedged between meredith and trout, i could barely move, but que sera, sera.  a recollection of yesterday of yesternight, and of today thus far.  perhaps not even in that order!

m came to classes and we didn’t do too much learning. in addition to not learning, we consumed ample amounts of provisions (ie, toast, roastbeef, sushi, shumai, mussels, chicken sandwiches, and pecan pie).  we watched ample amounts of movies- ie dead poet society, where the wild things are, and amelie.  we built sheet forts, well… i built sheet forts (which miraculously collapsed on top of me around4 am).  i’m out of my incense stash, i couldn’t add to my stories, and my back needs to be cracked…desperately.  i attempted to cash a check at the bank but they were closed.  i drove to falmouth and then to brunswick all to hear my little cousin announce that he does not love me.what a wonderful way to start a saturday.  tonight there are translucent plans- kris klark’s vinyl benefit at SPACE, but i am not 100% sure i will be going (although I do in fact, want to go).  i’ve confirmed my appointment to get latin inked on me. so happy. quebec is coming up soon, and the end of the third quarter is too.  i just want to get down to NC, see m and m-sr. and not have to worry about anything.

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enfin's reality, Uncategorized, writing

aura of envy

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i don’t think i have any other words to describe my feelings right now besides envious.  its true that for the past i don’t know, 11 months i’ve firmly held my ground and could have cared less about whether or not i had a companion of sorts.  its true that i still feel that way, but something about the photo displayed above set me over the edge,  envy is building and there is no stopping it.  of course, i’m not the sort of person who is going to go out and seek a companion out.  im tired of that game.  there aren’t really prospects in my reach because of reasons out of my control.  there are factors that happen to restrict prospects which i have discussed in-depth with the lovely M.  to add on to that train of thought- mere and i have been discussin’ our flat.  we’re extreemly excited to eventually be getting a haus of our own! i think she’ll be ashamed of my uncleanliness however, but that’s something i’m willing to sacrifice.  we’ve also considered opening our own restaurant called zest where you bring us the ingredients and we’ll prepare something that includes the provisions that are providide.  of course, the logistics aren’t detailed, and we both know that we’d be inefficient and unable to stay on task, but that’s life, isn’t it? this afternoon we’re going on our first photo excursion of the new england spring, and we’re both looking forward to it! i need to pick up film tomorrow, and oh yes! how did i forget, m is going to be the official photographer on enfinoui this summer (of course, my photos will be displayed, but she is going to help out a ton) she may help with lookbook too (which reminds me; i need to get on planning a new outfit and shoot, hmm….ideas?)

anyway, going back to my rant about companions.  i’d like one, yes, but i can also live without it, seeing as i’ve fared well these past 11 months, and in addition to that, i’ve also fared well prior to the most recent relationship of mine which ended for good cause *amen and thank god*. <– i just realized how funny that happens to be seeing as god n’exist pas dans ma tete! but yes, a companion would be nice.  someone to cook for and watch black and white movies with.  someone to fall asleep next to, and to parade up the congo.  someone to come thrifting with me, and sit on the floor listening to vinyl and sip chamomille with.  someone to go on walks on the west end with, and take rolls of magnificent film with!  someone who joins me for late brunches on sundays, someone who thinks latin is fun, and who appreciates good literatue, good film, good caffine, and good tv.  someone who likes the same music (plus more) as me, and someone who thinks my mood swings are hilarious.  someone who has undergone some sort of tragedy in their lifetime, someone who likes me just as much as i like them.  someone who finds the concept of i love you to be a part conformist society, and instead we express our feelings through words with merit, not words that are used because you are unable to convey your feelings in any other way so you turn to the easiest phrase, known to man kind and spit it out.  i’m picky- yes, but i need to be.  after settling for less than my usual standards in the past, its become more than apparent that standards have to be met or else there’s no purpose in having a companion.  perhaps i’ll stumble upon someone someday- and perhaps i’ve already stumbled upon them. 

more fiction pieces are coming out tonight! along with some lovely photos from today’s excursion, and maybe even a link to a certain prose that i happen to be awaiting.

enfin

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enfin's reality, Uncategorized

happy friday!

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tis friday! i survived this past week sucessfully (through means of watching its always sunday in philidelphia and eating at norms) meredith is in portland at this hour (i believe!) and i am about to start my friday night date [not with a person, *haha* with Trout of course] and we’re going to sip tea and watch the third men and of course we’re going to listen to bon iver and sufjan stevens! tomorrow begins the art program and m is coming over.

i am feeling: really hopeful (as in high spirits), happy, tired, warm, and fortunate.  I miss Ari Gold and I’m glad that Tom Waits happens to be playing in the background of this room!

enfin

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