enfin's reality

a little maelstrom

not to be the epitome of negativity, but i knew today was going to be shitty- and that’s exactly how it turned out. ¬†the weather was disgusting this morning- and when i say that, i mean it. ¬†sleet, snow, freezing rain, and hail all tormented me on my walk to school, which took way too long + i almost got hit by two cars on the way up congress street, and i guess you could easily deduce that put me in a foul mood for the remainder of the day. ¬†i’d assume the most obvious reason why my day was bad was because i had to go back to school- and it’s not that i dislike school, in fact, it’s exactly the opposite. ¬†i love school- i just know that i’m sleep deprived, i’m on the cusp of getting sick once again, and i have a lot to do this week. ¬†transitioning back to a normal “work” week has never been my forte, unless you count holiday break this past year, because that got old fast. ¬†not to mention, mondays are the worst days in my week because i don’t have a free period and i stay after school until five to do mentoring.

i don’t feel like delving into why i’m particularly annoyed, and i definitely don’t want to say anything that may reveal the identities of those who annoy me, but for the most part, i’m just annoyed with flat out contradictions- regardless of the intent.

i think tonight is going to consist solely of homework, a bath, some dinner, and bed, because that’s the sort of mood i’m currently in.

e

Standard
enfin's reality

b mine

sorry i’ve been MIA. ¬†this week has been a hailstorm of negative energy to be entirely honest. ¬†I’ve had moments of absolute euphoria, but for the most part, things have been below mediocre, and i’ve been really irritable. ¬†in addition, i’ve just acquired some sort of malady and could barely walk today. ¬†thankfully tomorrow is friday, but that means weekend, which means waking up early to no relief. but that’s fine because i like going to work. ¬†saturday i’m going to a Love Party and making homemade pasta for sammy blue eyes, and sunday i’m doing a late Yin yoga class. ¬†i just know that i want to take it relatively easy especially after last weekend. ¬†february break is right around the corner (yes!), and i have plans to go to montreal for a few days to visit a close friend and look at concordia and mcgill. ¬†i’m happy that i’ll get to sleep at least a little, and maybe i’ll spend a day up at sugarloaf too, which would be nice. ¬†this is a pretty ridiculous post- i’m sorry, but soon i’ll get back in the habit and have some nice things to say.

have a happy friday?

-enfin

Standard
enfin's reality, photography

a 6-day vacation…plus some politics

I’m just sitting here, drinking my iced G7 coffee, in my pajamas, reading a bit of Angelou, when I start to think about the current state of things around me. ¬†I haven’t been to school since Tuesday (Wednesday was a snow-day and I was sick for the past two days), and because of Martin Luther King Jr. Day I don’t have classes on Monday. ¬†Not to mention there is of course a strong possibility of another snow-day on Tuesday- but we’ll see, I won’t push my luck for a 7 day vacation.

While nothing exciting has happened recently in my life, I was able to find some controversy that I could emerge myself in, but now, when I stop and look back at the controversy I am absolutely disgusted, for a few reasons. ¬†Before I list the reasons, I’ll clarify the controversy- though I shouldn’t even label it as a controversy seeing as it’s irrefutable on one side, and all in all, it’s entirely disgraceful. ¬†This problem, this issue, is named, Paul LePage. ¬†Yes, I’m sure you’ve heard of him. ¬†LePage was elected by a slim margin to the Governor’s office of Maine back in November. ¬†At that point, I was absolutely terrified, enraged, confused- you name a negative adjective, I was feeling it. ¬†LePage is hardly qualified for the job, seeing as the past two governors in the state of Maine have been politically correct, kind, and effective (John Baldacci & Angus King). ¬†LePage is known as the notorious manager of Mardens- you know, that store with the catchy jingle (ya should have bought it when you saw it at MAAAARDENS!!), and graduated from the University of Maine with a MBA in business. ¬†I’m not going to insult or comment on the career he held for most of his life- ie the management job at Marden’s, I’ll let you do that, but if one just examines his qualifications in regards to his education, it’s evident that he is hardly qualified or knowledgable to be holding the power of Governor in the year 2011. Anyway, ever since he entered the political arena, there has been a hailstorm of controversy following him like a malicious tornado that has no intention of bipartisanship, in fact the only intention his controversy has is to deepen the divide between democrats and republicans in the state of Maine- which s pretty deep to begin with. ¬†One of his most nationally recognized quotes is “I’d tell Obama to go to hell…” and as of yesterday, his inappropriateness and his overwhelming since of bias was made public once again. ¬†The NAACP had invited the governor to celebrate Martin Luther King’s Holiday at their annual event- a breakfast, with an additional visit with black prisoners at the Maine State Prison. ¬†LePage never responded to either invitation, and when asked by a member of the press why he declined the NAACP’s invitation, he responded, “They can kiss my butt.” ¬†Someone with such an elementary vocabulary ought not be running a state- even though Maine’s average SAT scores are 40-50 points below the national average. ¬†By expressing such arrogance, such utter carelessness, what does LePage expect to accomplish? Does he know the example that he is setting? On the weekend of the national holiday that represents racial healing in the United States, why would an elected official make such an atrocious, borderline racist comment, and then try to defend himself by saying, “I’m not racist, you can go to my house and see that I have a black son…” That is the other appalling thing. ¬†The fact that a person can adopt a child doesn’t mean that they’re racially tolerant. ¬†In fact, by claiming he’s not racist because he has a black son shows just how racially ignorant he is.

So as a resident of the state of Maine, I can tell you honestly, that I am outright disgusted by our Governor’s comments. ¬†I am ashamed, embarrassed, and completely offended. ¬†This sort of regress shouldn’t be taking place in 2011, especially in Maine which has already had a tumultuous history with racial equality. ¬†His lack of eloquence (just because it was a short comment does not coincide with eloquence for those who may disagree), his lack of political correctness, his ignorance, arrogance, lack of respect, and clearly lack of knowledge about what is acceptable to say in public, is a disgrace. ¬†Another adjunct, that I find incredibly wretched is the fact that LePage claims he doesn’t support special interest groups (this was one of his reasons for declining the NAACP’s invitation) yet today- the day immediately preceding his obscene and uncalled for comments, he is attending an anti-abortion rally. ¬†So much for staying true to your word, LePage. ¬†Maybe you ought to go back to managing Marden’s- I think that’s the safest place for you. ¬†+ if there is even a mention of constructing that nuclear power plant LePage has been mentioning, I will seriously remove myself from this state, never return, never look back, and do everything I can to ensure that another corrupt tea-bagger never wins another political seat again.

Standard
enfin's reality

updatez & kittehz & promises

Tumblr_l9qd69myjh1qzi1sao1_400_large

Tumblr_l9tp3hfhdl1qcod9po1_400_large

on this rainy october day (worst combination in my opinion) i find myself pulling an all-nighter to remain on track at school and bake cookies for tomorrow.¬† in the past two days i’ve baked four dozen cookies and i’m getting better at baking.¬† i used to bake¬†a lot, and i still do, but i have to admit its been quite sometime since i’ve baked cookies.¬† cakes and tarts and pies seem to be my forte.¬† but so it goes, these cookies are for a cause, a good one that is.

On_the_road_to__01_by_dan_ak_large

sublime days passing by within a blink of an eye.  keeling over on the walk home possibility, reminisce, parcels delivered and signed for, unexpected and welcomed invitations, aspirations and lots of beirut.  jane austen shall never be better than northanger abbey, writing in varsity, and ink stained digits.  memories, or would you say lacksidaciscal thoughts and spinning, arms, legs, strands of hair akimbo.  play in the works, romance on the horizon, nourished properly come the 5th day.  holidays, reunions, anxiety and depression.

Tumblr_l4s3wpuzzs1qaj7pjo1_400_large

painful, wincing at the sight of them.¬† without gold, without tears, without what you think i need.¬† one too many americanos, steaming, piping hot, it’s gases making its way through the stiff autumn air.¬† crisp skies, big breaths, crunch crunch crunching leaves, root vegetables, increase in figs+kale.¬† overall bliss.

forgoing the immediate comfort of my down blanket and bed, all to be discomforted by the truths and travisties of my mind.¬† sleep deprivation- something i haven’t been in a while.¬† lots and lots of tea, missing rain slicker and umbrella soaked by nature, indulgence in warm hot showers.¬†

dropping roll of film from vermont/new hampshire off some point tomorrow.  shooting more saturday.  adventure photos from the past weekend are being uploaded- slowly, patiently, ever so leisurely.  tension between everyone and anyone, have i upset the one person i ought to depend on most? unsure.  losing a grip of said relationship, so nature takes its course, things end, things decay.  bring me, let me spend the day in your bed, in your world, exchanging things that have never been exchanged before.

irrationality taking over.  counting down the days.  let that nip bite your ankles.

enfin

Standard
enfin's reality, writing

E & T: a collaboration

As I’ve taken a break from posting fiction, I thought it may interest some readers if I posted the story that’s caused me all the pain in the world and is the reason why my creative posts have become rare.¬† Entitled Kale and Radishes, it’s the one piece I want to finish.¬† I began it in collaboration with Mr. John Fury last April, and since then we have not put anything else into it.¬† In addition to the following manuscript, I just wanted to let everyone know that I am beginning to write a play, which at this point is called B108.¬† I hope to have it done by late December, and when it’s done, count on segments being posted, along with a date for where and when it will be staged.

-enfin

Prelude:

I wrote this in collaboration with my friend Tobias. It was all done over face book stauses over the course of two weeks. Spelling is bad, as is grammar, but that‚Äės the stylistic standpoint we‚Äėve chosen to use. In the beginning it‚Äôs a bit unclear as to who is narrating who. When one gets to the middle section it‚Äės easier to determine the narrators. Toby narrates the girl‚Äės life, and I narrate the boy‚Äės life. No ending has been discussed- no plans of reviving the tale itself have been thought about. It‚Äės impossible to finish this story properly without the commitment from both parties- and because Toby and Enfin have conflicting interests as of late April, it‚Äėll be quite a while til anything happens with this story.

And so it goes:

Untitled manuscript numero six

“she sat down to a plate of kale & radishes and looked longingly out the window. the rain falling reminded her of faraway countries, though she couldn’t pinpoint exactly why. in the next room, the television burbled about a tool to make cooking easier. on the stove, a pot frothed madly.

an alarming sound emanated from the kitchen, interrupting her thoughts. the fork dropped out of her right hand as she stood up from her battered chair which was thrifted from a yardsale the season before. for fear of knocking over a pile of her strategically stacked records, she moved with a touch of cautious air about her, and meandered into the dimly lit kitchen which resembled that of one found in industrial england centuries before her time.

the pot was a horrible anachronism that she had always despised, gleaming silver among the cast-iron skillets which hung like torture instruments over the ancient range. casting a swift glance over her shoulder at the cat about to strike an invisible mouse, she ladled out the soup which was boiling over. limp-wristed leeks clung to each other on the wooden spoon. a deft flick of her hand turned the gas off, and this motion extinguished something inside of her, too. she wondered if she had a pilot light and, if so, how she could lift her sternum and hold a match to it in order to re-ignite its slumbering stoma –

in the apartment directly above her dwelled a boy in his early twenties. i say boy because he had been stunted at the age of 15 as a result of his tumultuous rearing. much like the girl below, the boy stared out his window, which was covered with a thin film of blue tainted dust, at the rain. it was one of those moments where he felt as though the world stood still and time ceased to exist. the boy’s soul was overcome with an outlandish sense of peace, which quickly vanished as he heard a riotous yelp emerge from the hallway that neighbored his quaint flat. as his heart sank, he rose from the comfortably padded seat at his escritoire and ambled to the menacing oak door which yielded a small aperture to the world outside of his banasuic realm. an uncontrollable gasp forced its way up and out of his throat at the sight of the couple, who hailed from apartment 6C, flailing their misshapen limbs in the stale air around them and throwing each other’s valuables over the ledge of the balcony which observed the perilous stairs that led to the caverns within the blue house on arbus road.

Continue reading

Standard
enfin's reality

congregation at beacon hill

it’s been a while, i know, i know.¬† and to be honest, i’ve been making the effort to blog, but every night i’m busy from four to eleven, and when the latter rolls around, i’m ready to crawl into my bed, curl up with trout, and cherish the mere seven hours i have to sleep until i wake up and rinse and repeat.¬† for the first time yesterday, i didn’t know what to do with myself with my spare time.¬† we were driving to spring street cafe, and i saw a school, and the oddest sensation came over me.¬† i wanted to be in a classroom, with the comforting ticking of a clock playing in the background, reading primary source documents about russia’s medieval history.¬† i’m being serious- please believe me.¬† it’s almost as if i’m addicted to school.¬† and the truth of the matter is that, i don’t enjoy school when i’m there, but when i’m outside of it, and i’m not doing anything stimulating, all i want to do is be challenged in a classroom.¬† i hope this says something about my adaptation skills- clearly, i’ve been able to adapt to the new school, though now that’s all that seems to matter to me.¬† that’s all that should matter at this point.

things to discuss that are worthwhile;

again, i find myself in cambridge/JP/boston, and i’ll be departing tomorrow late afternoon, all to find myself at home with two cats once again.¬† it’ll be a lonely week- and i will be looking forward to the arrival of A! i cannot wait to see her, and i cannot express how impatient i am for that day to roll around.¬† in the time that she’s been MIA in new hampshire, i’ve realized how much of a best friend she is to me.¬† i’ve also become hyper-aware of the fact that i’m pretty anti-social when it comes down to it.¬† while i enjoy spending time with people, i only enjoy company that means something to me- and as i’ve discovered, good company is hard to come by these days.¬† though, truth be told, i’ve met quite the girl at my new school.¬† she’s vivacious and intricately woven- similar to me in a lot of ways- odd in her own, but i like her, and we spent a tad bit of time this past wednesday with one another, journeying to the farmer’s market where we splurged a major dollar and three quarters on delicious apples- and then we conversed about the best and worst moments in our lives above the square for quite some time until we both parted for separate reasons.¬† it’s irksome to try and express what it feels like to be in the company of a friend.¬† speaking of friends, i’ve spent more time with Mr. I than originally expected.¬† all is swell on that front, even if we only see each other for an hour every few days, the time i get with him, i’m very happy to have.¬† his friendship means so much to me, and i was nervous upon starting my new school that perhaps a fallout would be around the corner, though at this point, it does not seem probable.¬† i miss my dear M, though i’ve come to terms with the fact that she is far away and i can’t expect to see her as much as i do come the sunny season.¬† in addition, i’ve also accepted that while we used to have very very habitual phone calls, they cannot always happen.¬† not only is she busy, but i am too.¬† it saddens me, but what is the entire point of a phone call? while it brings me a bit closer to her, by means of a voice, i know that i will end up sad when we hang up.¬† so as of late, we haven’t had too many conversations, though i’ve decided that that’s alright, because she is the sort of person that i can just pick up where we left off the last time- and those sorts of people are so hard to come across.

Tumblr_l83yqfquz21qangayo1_500_large

Tumblr_l8y0us6ewu1qdtpb3o1_500_large

 

as i’m not too sociable, i thought that perhaps i’d like to share the prospect of my writing a play.¬† for performing arts, i’ve decided to spend my mondays and thursdays making progress on a play that i’ve pondered over for quite some time.¬† while i’m not sure how much i will be able to put into it, i would like to have¬†a script ready by the end of february so i could possibly put it on.¬† but deadlines scare me, and i have to meet many this upcoming year.¬† in october i have the psats, in december i have the japan scholarship deadline, in january i have SATs round one, and come february the script is due.¬† i hate to put a creative outlet on hold, but when comparing its merit to the others, i know that it’s last on my to-do list.¬† i almost am saddened by the fact that i haven’t shot any rolls of film- though at this point, i realize that it to be quite trivial seeing as i can’t afford film, i have nothing to shoot, and where has my time gone.¬† in addition, i haven’t even begun my fall shifts.¬† the christmas season is when i work at the store, and clearly, i haven’t put too much thought into trying to make a schedule for this fall.¬† everything is happening so fast- i have things to occupy myself with every day until 3, and that would give me two hours of work a day.¬† that’s not much, though i suppose, if it made sense, i could go in every day for two hours, on my off saturdays for 5, and then on wednesdays another 5.¬† it’s all a matter of how busy i want to be.¬† but i’m thinking in terms of a stable income… so i suppose i’m willing to tire myself out, and then take a long-needed break come january until march, when competitive tennis rolls around.¬† i’m so content with everything right now.¬† while i miss summer, i’m partial to sweaters and corduroys and frye boots, over daisy dukes and t-shirts.¬† i love autumn farmers markets, and this means that thanksgiving is right around the corner.¬† my semester ends two weeks before christmas, so my overall stress level out to be reduced by that point, and new classes begin the day¬†i get back off of winter break.¬† if i had to be outright frank with you (hello redundancy) i’d say that i’m so pleased with life right now, even though i’m crazy busy.¬† i’m happy to be blogging again, and i’m really going to try quite hard to blog at least three times a week.¬† perhaps soon, excerpts of the play will appear, original prints, and drawings will be scanned.¬† oh, and the importance of weekends have kindly been emphasized since the school year has commenced- and i’m oh so glad that i look forward to the glorious weekends once again.

so many cups o’ coffee, so much nature, so much yoga, so much knowledge, need i much more than what i’ve been given? i say not.

Tumblr_l8yirnik3o1qbbz56o1_400_large

4604515221_3e2ef4427c_z_large

Tumblr_l8y4a87kl21qa49bbo1_400_large

¬†today was absolutely wunderbar.¬† we had a fest on charles street, ate at artu1, and ended up in copley.¬† as for the folks at the freedom fest: legalize it benefit, i’d like to express my sincere and blunt opinion- no pun intended.¬† to say the least, i think it silly the united states has yet to legalize marijuana, while i am not one who indulges in herbal practices, i think its harmless, and the reason why it tends to be controversial is the sole fact that its been illegal for quite sometime.¬† if we want to reduce marijuana related crimes, than legalize it for godsake.¬† besides that, i have no reason to advocate for the legalization of the drug- regardless of the fact that its less harmful than alcohol and tobacco.¬† but i digress.¬† the point i wanted to make to all those colourful characters and performers i spotted in the common is simple.¬† the majority of you are the reason why marijuana is illegal.¬†you’re irresponsible, trashy, and impulsive.¬† you are narcissists, and no wonder why many folks are opposed to legalizing marijuana.¬† you all give the cause a face, and its not an appealing one.¬† when i’m accosted by your fellow advocates who are baked out of their skulls, when i see¬† you lighting up in front of a boston police officer, when you expose young children to the drug, and when i see you sitting on the curb appearing to have not much of a life, why would i ever support your cause? if you want people to back you, then you give them a reason.¬† your sorry face who doesn’t pay taxes, who thinks that they’re sticking it to the man, who is “rebellious” (yeah fuckin’ right), and who is intouch with mother earth, outrage me.¬† stop talking about lighting up your dad.¬† why does anyone want to hear that? why is it all about shock value? the more shocking you are, the more disgraceful you tend to be.¬† i was saddened to see the people at this rally.¬† while the overall purpose, legalizing something that shouldn’t be illegal in the first place is just in sentiment, oftentimes the people who represent said cause are not worthy to do so.

enfinoui is back with a rather opinionated entrance.

Standard