enfin's reality, pop culture

yogi breaths

that’s all i’ve been doing all day.  this has been possibly the worst weekend i’ve experienced in a while.  i’ll gladly take a hangover during work any day over what’s happened in the past two days.

i hate how people don’t understand what effect their words have on me.  they don’t even know it, in fact, it will never ever occur to them that the smallest things that they perceive to be entirely justified absolutely kill me inside.

work has been absolutely swamped this weekend, and today there really wasn’t a moment to breathe, which really did a number on me.  especially since i spent a good deal of time in the hospital yesterday, with my grandmother which was emotionally taxing.  there have been numerous moments where i just want to break down and cry, and there have been the same amount of moments where i’ve wanted to shriek until my voice left me forever.  there’s just so much going on, and the people who should be there, aren’t, and it all feels like a repeat of june 2009.

i leave bright and early for montreal tomorrow.  i’m pretty excited to be frank, but i know that i’m bringing over so much stress and anxiety, which i obviously wish i could leave behind in the US.

in regards to the social sector of my life, i feel like there have been so many hills and valleys in the past few weeks, and i’m just so tired of it all.  i’m tired of people saying one thing, and then doing other things that just completely negate their words.  i’m tired of being disappointed and easily irritated.  and also, some people just need to chill the fuck out, and learn to account for their words and actions in a responsible manner.

at this moment, the only things i’m looking forward to are work next weekend, dinner at Hugo’s on the 8th, and going back to school.  i don’t really have any desire to spend time with people over break unless they’re family members.  everyone else, i’ve just realized i’m very short with and will more than likely snap at.

a nice cup of iced vietnamese coffee would do me a world of wonder right now.  and perhaps when i wake up at 5am, i’ll want to be social again.  maybe it’s just the fact that i’m absolutely exhausted that i feel this way right now.  it could also be that i’m very sad and very lonely.  but whatever the reason, i hope it gets resolved sooner rather than later.

then again, i’ve been known to dwell in my sorrow- but, i’ll try not to do that now.

enfin

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enfin's reality, links, music

i’m a new soul

this winter is getting more difficult to survive for reasons out of my control.  first and foremost, i absolutely despise the cold temperatures, and they always just effect me negatively because i want to find a little corner and huddle there with about a billion blankets on top of me.  the second reason has to do with the cold temperatures- once february hits, it seems like the snow is gone, and instead we’re plagued with ice.  i can’t tell you how much i hate ice.  for one, it’s so dangerous, and also it’s just not user friendly.  i always get this anxious pit in my stomach when i’m walking on ice, and i just don’t like it.  but i don’t want to bore you with why i’m having a difficult time this winter, instead i’d rather tell  you what i’m doing to busy myself in this lonely period of the year.

break starts friday at 2pm, thankfully.  it’s not so much that i need it like i need christmas break, but instead, it’s just some time to actually go do stuff that i need to do, and that i’m genuinely excited about.  first and foremost, there’s a food/fashion blogger happy hour at my place of work, and i’m very excited to meet with a few folks- kate from the blueberry files, and so on, and immediately after that, i think i’m going to spend some quality time with samuel, because i won’t see him for a good amount of time from saturday onward.  then the weekend boasts a dinner with marlowe at the noodle bar, working both brunches, and driving down to bos late sunday so i can wake up early to leave the country.

don’t worry, i seriously haven’t been keeping anything too big from you guys- it’s not like i’m leaving for turkey or something crazy like that.  just a friendly visit to our northern neighbor- canada.  no, it’s not going to be a drinking fest, but rather a visit at two possible schools i’m looking at, and a reunion with a pretty cool friend.   i’ll be in montreal for 3 days, then i’ll stay another night in boston to see two of my aunts for dinner, and also to crash so i don’t have to get home ridiculously late wednesday night.  the rest of the week is really unclear, because i’m left with four days to do more than i think is possible to squeeze into 96 hours.  sugarloaf, bela dear, have a jersey shore party, spend some quality time with A & samuel, work two+ shifts, oh, and sleep? maybe it’s all possible, but then again, i could just have a case of being unrealistic.

in other news, restaurant week is rapidly approaching- that’s right, it’s my favorite time of year again.  i have four reservations thus far, and the list can only keep growing if you look at it from my view.  first is my maiden voyage to bresca (can’t say that i’ve ever been more excited about a restaurant visit), next comes a trip to district with mere, and then a trip to vignola with nellie, and finally the eve of my SATs boasts a wonderful meal at bar lola with mr. I.  i think i’ll also be visiting hugo’s on a tuesday for their half of blind tasting menu, and then of course one night i’ll go somewhere with sam, maybe local or sonny’s. so i guess you can say that i’m consciously trying to make things look on the bright side, and it’s working for the most part.  primarily what kills me is the cold wind when i walk outside.  that makes me forget what i have to look forward to and instead makes me spiteful.  don’t worry, i’m trying to work on it though.

-enfin

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