enfin's reality

the lighter died.

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tandem bikes listen to that by the LK.

here i am. in north carolina. for the first time. ever. unless a trip to the charlotte airport counts, although, i highly doubt that it truly does.Β  yesterday was a long day of travel, tons of delays and bumpy skies and busy roads. but all in all, i got to durham/chapel hill an hour later than expected, in one piece.Β  M was at her trackmeet, but i didn’t see her throw because i was late. late. late. i suppose that should have been assumed in the first place, but what is done, is done. chick-fil-a (still can’t get over the spelling… i suppose new englanders want to add that filet in instead of the fil-a…) filled our stomachs, and i slept a good sleep, all until i was woke up early this morning to visit DA. it was a school, and that was my very impression. my only impression too. sure schools tend to differ in material, but all have the same sense of an educational establishment which one becomes familiarized with over the course of their 13 years in public edu. or private, or what have you. anyway, i read outside for sometime- something i rarely have the chance to do in maine, and that made me happy. then we ventured to a thai cafe and to m’s infamous lo-yo and we had a superb time talking. all this “update” writing is making me feel out of place. seeing as i’m currently reading catcher in the rye for the thousandth time, i feel like holden, and i am viewing everything as “phony”. its unfortunate, yeah? anyway…

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o, how i’d love a party like the above. summertime is approaching! m, annie, and i will drive to the coast and eat strawberries and blackberries, and dance to k’naan and tunng and all the good summer music.Β  we’ll eat oranges and sip tea on the maine state pier at 5am, and we’ll build forts and go on bike rides, and take many many photos. i’m really counting on the upcoming season of liberty to be the best one yet- seeing as last year’s sucked so bad. see my nice inclusion of slang? anyway, ive sent out good energy to the deities of summer to ensure that the three of us have the best vacation of our lives thus far. parties, and friends (if we need them) and lunches and brunches and movies and music all the way.

oh hi enfin, you are as BA as its been rumored.

memoria teneo, as i have mentioned in a previous post, did in fact happen- hence the proof, first of two photos. the second, is a quaint little rue en quebec, where i found this market that four young boys in their 20s with lots of tattoos and gauges worked in. they sold me a baguette and i played fetch with their golden retriever for a brief moment until i ran up the road to get a good shot of the chateau on my trusty ricoh. i miss quebec, but i like the south too! we’re planning an allnighter (which i can say is overdue) and a fortification and perhaps a picnic and a trip to some of m’s most mentionable places en durham/c.hill/raleigh or i think i will refer to current location as RDU just like their airport. it will be nice to visit cambridge on sunday however, i haven’t visited since… february? i don’t recall any travels in march, however, it is entirely possible. a mixed tape is coming when i get back in the 617 or 207, depending on my mood and how i budget my time. i’m switching between, the crying of lot 49, V, How to Write Compelling Fiction- which i must add is quite delicious- and catcher in the rye (boring).

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stupid couple is so stupidly cute.

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i’m so happy that the spring has finally graced us.

enfinoui

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enfin's reality

i hurl myself off cliffs

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temperature’s are dropping

i miss my days of listening to just the jihad. because that was way back in the summer when i had money and i had time. i didn’t really enjoy the summer when i was caught up in it, but now… its apparent that there were some parts that were okay.

hell is demonic and manic. i had to walk in the pouring rain which made me depressed, thus causing me to wonder if i am in fact, depressed. because i often find myself morose, and in addition to that… i become wrapped up in routine, and i don’t like to be disturbed. i don’t think im depressed… just a bit cynical, and i act as if i don’t really care, whenΒ i do! i take things very personally, which im trying to work on! i very much want to connect to people. its not a matter of whether or not someone likes me, or if i like them, i just want connections. i just want to feel as though im understood. the rain makes me think too much. and it makes me feel sick. tuesdays are ever so difficult, but i personally think wednesdays are the absolute worse. so i guess right off the bat i will send myself a precursor to tomorrow!

i bought my tickets to north carolina (no where finer) and i’m leaving april 14th, getting back april 18th. the week prior i’ll be in quebec, and i’m having an ink sesh at tatouage toutankhamon! the week before that is easter… one holiday i dread, and also dark dark dark will be playing at space! the end of my march into mid april is busy busy busy! tennis season also starts up soon, so i don’t know when i’ll have a free moment to do anything.

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i adore that nietzsche tattoo so darn much. i’ve contemplated whether or not to get nietzsche on me, and that tat looks phenomenal, so its giving me a push in the direction to say… YES friederich! you should totally be inked on me forever and ever. tonight i suppose i will go to squid and whale tattooΒ and watch cyndi lou ink mi madre.Β  tonight, if i don’t have to work i’m considering making my cauliflower and kale soup, posting my recipe to gnocchi, reading dostovesky and making even making a tart! i feel as though i should do something worthwhile this afternoon, and im hoping bela comes on over so we can go through my closet and maybe to salvies. thursday & friday i get out of this institution at 11am. thats a 3 hour and 15 minute day. what is the point!? i could be in san diego right now!! san diego, sleeping in and feeling refreshed. all i want to do is cook! cook cook cook! currants and plums and blackberries in a tart! and black and white movies, and compliments, and company. too bad that won’t happen. give me some anton karas! give me yann tiersen. give me music to make me weep! i miss my best friend. and i miss the sun.

i need to think of a wonderful ending to him & her, the story i’ve been writing forΒ  quite some time! this afternoon is nice and rainy…but not nice, so if bela doesn’t visit , writing will hopefully be the main production, along cooking. my scratches on my wrist sting a bothering sting!

enfinlove

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