enfin's reality, photography


in short this has been the past few days.  cat naps with trout after 4pm on thursdays.  smiles and ferocious yawns, and little tiny pink noses.  waking up all to discover its a mother-effing snow day- thus bringing a celebration in my brain.  stupid celebration got in the way of learning how to conjugate malo, malle, malui.

worked brunch on saturday, learned the drill.  met dear corey jane at the squid and whale tattoo and supported her during her first ink sesh- per usual cyndi lou did a fabulous job.  chatted the afternoon away, drank some tea, and went food shopping.

made my grandmother’s yellow curry for the ladies, and gossiped and bitched all night long.  listened to britney’s newest hit, and dougied.  it was so worth it to have a ladies night, just because i sorta forgot what they’re like and how great they make you feel.  so much stuff to be said, and smiles and laughs and pocket calls.  a group of very different girl, congregating over food, gossip, and shitty jamz.

rewind to friday night- probably my favorite night so far.  fried chicken, and snuggles, and tosh.o, and blue eyes, and a new job, and a poncho, and hugs, and rob steele.

obviously we ended the night on a good sweet note- soy creamery cherry chocolate chip. YUMMYYYY.

waking up sunday.  working brunch again- this time crazier, but just as fun- if not more.  bonded with amanda, talked some J-shore business, and then left when all was said and done.  met with sammy and got some much needed coffee and splurged on music- five records and a peter gabriel cassette for our maine adventure.  all this leading up to a walk to his car in 10 degree weather and a finale of sweeney todd.

i never realized how lucky i am until today.

i’m luckier than so many people, and i’m so happy that i am.

enfin's reality

buckets of rain



i have one final left and then i’m done with classes for a while. this week has been quite pleasant, farmer’s market, half off at salvation army, 10pm dinner with m, adventures with les hommes, insane kittens, almond soy milk, tatz, & half sunny half rainy weather. i took a long nap this afternoon and have been tired ever since. my film came out quite nice, and i’m trying to scan the negatives, but that’s not going too well as of now. i’m taking tomorrow as it comes- hopefully i’ll busy myself tomorrow after 11, and then in the late evening dinner at street&co. my watercolour is finished, and i have to bring home my entire portfolio tomorrow- thankfully there’s only 4 months worth of pieces inside, so i won’t be weighed down by 9 months of artwork. weekend is absolutely overwhelming. working noon to eight on saturday, then making the rounds intown to my heart’s content, and sunday flying from portland to dc at noon. m is on her flight to london currently, where she’ll be stationed for the next two weeks. i’m making a dent in reading, a bit of hemingway and marquez, and i’m prepping for the upcoming summer. 1318713930_c3bbf5fba0_large


8 glasses of water (aqua) per day
3 cups of tea per day
2 cups of unsweetend almond soy milk per day
3 cups of coffee per week
4 glasses of wine per week

only in season legumes and fruits and homegrown herbs. i’m aiming for a complete detox so i will feel rather nice about myself come august. my cats have kept me nice company for the past few days, although i do have to admit, trout is really starting to smell…bad. i don’t even know how to deal with that, but she really smells. a trip to timelag & strange maine is in order for tomorrow. crossing my fingers for golden sunshine and a walk on the western prom.



enfin's reality

here’s to the rebel




back from canada. glad? no. sad? yes. missed les chats? oui, oui. quebec is quite spectacular. although i did end up getting sick friday… vomitting in public is not the sort of thing you WANT to do when first leaving the country, besides that all went well. i got inked, (yay) and i said oy vey a lot, even though that’s not exactly a canadian thing. i also danced at a sugar shack with a bunch of teenpunks that i could care less about. i was without any form of sanity whilst in canada, and it was somewhat refreshing to be quite honest. let me also say, i will never eat another PB&J ever again. i took two rolls of film, and i’m sending them out tomorrow because i’m too lazy to develop them with stancowicz. in addition to that, i believe i have a nice day planned for tuesday. classes, etc, and then tennis practice. contemplating whether or not to actually babysit, and then i have to run to norms, pick up a book, and pack for the dirty south where i will be stationed for five days, and then onward to cambridge for a few more days. so relieved to be getting out of this hell hole. i know that’s kind of ridiculous to say on my part, because i’m trying to be nonchalant and carefree and all, but some people… are just so immature and bothersome, it’s hard to be nonchalant and carefree.

i miss blogging and writing to tell you the truth. i miss my fiction pieces. during the end of the school year i get caught up with trips, and projects, and research papers and finals and tennis and work and increasing social life, so its hard to balance everything. plus as far as writing any fiction pieces, i’ve been lacking inspiration, and i was also put off a bit due to a case of total writer’s block that i didn’t see coming. anyway, i’m still working on producing a solid story for everyone, and i hope to by the end of next week. tis quite the deadline, but it gives me some leeway. ALSO in store is a mixed tape. that oughta be out by the end of next week too. let’s hope for a smooth transition (which i always seem to experience) and a good vacation.



enfin's reality

its been an empty night

i wonder if happiness is as tangible as everyone says it is. i’m not quite sure my of my true opinions on happiness, and i don’t think i could even begin to understand that emotion.  just like anything else, its temporary, and i’ve decided its not worth it trying to figure it out.  what i do know is simple: different forms of happiness exist.  i see the kind that is obtained through co-dependency, and the kind that is felt after purchasing that new car you’ve saved up for since the year before last. i don’t know if i get that surge of emotion as often as others, and i can’t label something as versatile as happiness as general, or standard, or anything like that.  it differs from being to being, and its time span is unpredictable.  i never get set on being happy for x amount of time, in fact, when i am “happy” i tend to think in a manner that most would find ridiculous. i think about the end of this elated spell, and how i’d have to transistion into another state of feeling.  life is what it is, there’s no changing that.




this week. in short, i can’t wait to get out of this state. i can’t wait to get out of this town even. everything and everyone has met ms. spiteful in the past two or three or even four days. i can’t stand there faces that are sucking the oxygen from my very lungs. i can’t stand their voices or their sayings, or their shrugging of shoulders. i can’t bear to look at anyone of them for quite some time. thank god for canada.  i leave friday and come back late sunday. then i have another two days in portland until i leave for north carolina on wednesday the 14th. i come back to new england the eighteenth, and remain in boston until the 21st.  then i will once again stay in portland until june, maybe with a few excursions to cambridge and portsmouth and brunswick in between. i’ll be laying low, avoiding those who make me unhappy. i plan on reading every book i’ve been meaning to read, and start a few new fiction works, while i ignore the ones on hold currently. i just would like summer to come really soon. spring is nice, but its fever is contagious. saturday… i’m planning on getting my ink sesh, HOPEFULLY. my artists are being iffy and are bad at communicating, but i will figure something out. i want this so much, therefore, whilst in canada, i will get it. i also need to send in a roll of film because the darkroom lacks proper chemicals. in addition to that, i’m working up a storm at holly and folly, and i have practice everyday, but i think i’m only going to two *thankfully*. maybe my luck will change for the better this upcoming week. tomorrow at some point i will give you a glimpse of the past day! it was pretty nice. until then, from portland west to portland east, i wish you the very best.