enfin's reality, photography

it’s as black as any night

i present to you a medley of summer film, shot in numerous places (most notably south korea) and in addition, a brief STOC.

trembling ever so lightly, i raised my nikon to my right eye, focused the lens, and shot this photo.  korea was full of murals, shrines, and monuments.  this one particularly struck me because it was in the dmz, and families who are separated by north and south leave one another notes and wishes on this fence.  as i made my way around the dmz i couldn’t help but feel a sense of sorrow floating about the trees, spewing from the birds, and releasing in the scent.  stalemate.  that’s what the treaty is defined as between north korea and south korea.  that’s what i felt.  in addition to a very odd, yet satisfying amount of peace as well.  a sanctuary of sorrow and peace.  being idle equates to nothing.

scarborough beach circa august 2010.  meandered to the beach with jaime reagan and company.  the swells were constant and overwhelming.  the sun was directly overhead, and the white sand was absorbing all the heat from the center of our galaxy.  i can’t say that i went to the beach for leisure too often this past summer, but of the few trips i did make, this was certainly the most satisfying.  immediately following the beach, we drove to the maine squeeze where jaime and i indulged in some green drinks.

alpha cave and beta bitches- plus caliboy.  these folks made my july the best july i’ve ever had.  when i first encountered them, i was unsure whether i’d get along with the group.  but sure enough, we made friends fast, and i still cannot imagine spending the entire july with any other group of people but these.  mr. t remains calm and collected, posing next to jaime who is in the midst of laughing at max’s absurd gesture he made seconds before this shot was snapped.  caliboy remains the same as mr t, and max, eli, and myself share a laugh about supertramp and the nose.

as i headed to the seoul fish market i traveled down a tunnel full of produce stalls managed by the wives of farmers.  this shot is perhaps one of the best i’ve snapped this summer.  while the exposure isn’t as great as i wish, the idea of the scene is still visible, and i think in some ways its executed quite well.  this woman, who has her hand resting on her hip found me and my traveling companions ridiculous and troublesome.  she was selling sesame leaves, dried maggots, and garlic.  the vendors sat on the ground while guys on mo-peds whizzed by.

snap-shot/portrait of my dear madre.  we were eating at saporro, i was house-sitting, and korea was just around the corner.  she was angry because her water had ice and no lemon, even though she asked twice for water without water with a lemon.  i suppose being picky isn’t the best thing when ordering water.  it was humid, and rain was on the way.  following this excursion i made my way home, and took a brief nap before running up to walk the little puppy on the hill.

after waiting for what seemed like a million seconds, potter did the first step to my swallow tattoo.  the pressing remained on my back for an extra twenty minute before he began a two and a half hour ink session on the very small swallow located on my upper left shoulder blade.   potter was impressed by my ability to fall asleep during the whole tattoo sesh, and in addition, i was a “very nice foreigner”.  he was sweet, that goes without saying, and he also was the best dressed korean i had seen that day- rocking a pair of tie-dyed balloon cotton pants, jesus sandals, and a black wife beater.

ms. chelsea, a very good friend, was married to her dearest john on august 29th.  the wedding was out of control and on the island.  we took an early boat over, and the good times started to roll at 2pm.  clearly, after this little soire, i know that i can handle a large amount of alcohol.  as A and i later hypothesized, the entire wedding was just an excuse to get loved ones together to drink to their heart’s content. and the choice of drink was limited to miller light, pbr, pinot grigo, pinot noir, merlot, and jello shots made with meyer’s rum.  very limited indeed.

when anne and cory first observed my camera, they struck a pose, but after i took a little while explaining i didn’t like poses, they began to ignore me, thus allowing me to get a candid shot like the one above.  anne and cory are my favorite couple in the entire world.  leading the bridal party, anne wore her black dress from bliss, paired with a legit pair of frye motorcycle boots.  miss rock n roll asian is pretty B.A.

jack and andrew pickin’ around at their octopus entree.  squirmy, yummy, delicious, we are strong…like warriors.

Mr. I tried his best with snappin’ some candid shots of my session with potter… while he is an amateur at camera usage, i enjoyed this photo and i still do.  this was about half-way into our session, and potter had just started shading.  b-roc, the miniature dog was moving about beneath the table, and my hand was resting on potter’s thigh.  i didn’t quite know where to put my hands the entire session, for they kept falling asleep.

this is my depiction of silence at the boston public library.  i’m very pleased with how this came out, besides the little light leak on the bottom left.

sinchon at night.  neon signs have a power over a human’s feeble mind.  all things that sparkle/glitter attract our attention, and sinchon was just that… a big ball of sparkley, glittery, neon signs.  i miss the vendors, the street food, the hemp stores, the cheap shoes, expensive skincare, and ironic shirts that would say, “it girl” or “diamonds or gold please”… did i say ironic, i meant idiotic!

Mr. I all dolled up, and finally he admits that he is a hash hippie.

the weekend brings me once again to the humble abode in cambridge, and immediately post-weekend, i am back in school, ramming my head into chem books, alg2acc books, russian history middle ages text + freeze text, pride and prejudice, and translating latin that i would have never thought possible to translate until now.  rest well portland, enfin will be back.

post scriptum: i was at norms tonight and got to spend some time with my surrogate big bro who i haven’t seen in what seems like ages.  now i know that i’ll have some guaranteed help for my struggling times in mathematics class.

Standard
enfin's reality, music

whirlpools and whirlwinds

4946413230_4c4fb2ed25_z_large

happy september.  can you feel that fall nip in the air? i’m not quite sure if i can, but hey… it’ll be here before any of us knows it.  i know i’ve been MIA for a little while, and i have perfectly good excuses.  they are as follows: i’m still experiencing my let down depression and that makes it difficult for me to write because i tend to turn the subject to the summertime and it makes me even more sad, i went on outdoor experience with my new school- we traveled to katahdin and went on a very long canoeing expedition, and since then i’ve been trying to catch up with sleeping and celebrating the final days of my best summer ever.

4941743032_510645d373_z_large

yesterday was full of great things- waking up late, get low, dinner at sonny’s (chicken enchilladas, cheeseburger, fried avacado, raspberry sangria sorbet, etc.), breaking down and buying lords of dogtown and roger dodger for under $10, pedis, and season 7 of entourage!! iced tea with A, and talking about everything and anything really helped put things in perspective for me. 

it was a very weird transition from being in seoul to camping at katahdin.  so loud and busy than became so quite and idle.  mankind at its most innovative transformed into nature at it’s best.  while i was laying in my tent on the first night, i realized that everything A had been saying about this all being relevant made sense.  whereever you are in life, more life is going on around you.  the more life you experience will mean different things for different people.  as i’ve mentioned in previous posts, once things begin to change, they change drastically.  i believe my fresh start at a new school is relevant and in cahoots with this past summer.  i don’t know what to expect, i don’t know what’s around the bend- and to be honest, i don’t want to know until everything happens.  life is what it is, and why not enjoy everything for once.  continuing this trend, about it all being relevant, clearly the way life evolves is relevant too.  i’ve been reading northanger abbey, and comparing the lifestyle back then to the lifestyle currently, is crazy.  jane austen depcits a society in which it is mandatory for a woman and a man to find their star-crossed lover STAT.  nowadays, while it’s still a focus, it’s not the only focus.  it’s more a matter of personal preference. 

things are just spinning around and around, and if i had to be honest, i would tell you everything keeps me up at night now.

Tumblr_l8a3kupfb31qd6wm6o1_500_large

the prospect of having a new unexpected friend excites me to the utmost extent- and i think that’s a muy bueno thing,

letting time carry on, trying to prevent this saddness from sinking further within my mind

cravings for outings and spottings have been increasing rapidly this lovely september morning-

i’m quite ready for routine i suppose… even though as i typed that my first thought was WHAT THE FUCK?

brunch at locs when A returns from yoga,

Tumblr_l8a3injzmv1qd6wm6o1_500_large

everything seems to have sorted themselves out for the time being.  i guess you could say i’m in a very good position.

september monthly horoscope says:

More than any other time during the year, you are feeling most adventurous and willing to take a leap of faith. This is a cycle in which you seek a higher meaning to your life, and/or seek out new experiences that take you beyond the here and now, and beyond the mundane details of day-to-day life. Anything that broadens your experiences attracts now. A lack of superficiality finds you straight to the point, interested in the truth of things.

Standard
enfin's reality, photography

don’t stop

this rain needs to END.  i don’t need to feel any worse than i currently am- and the rain always adds on to that.  tired of running- though my body needs to move, because i haven’t moved it in quite sometime.

i miss kimchi.  i miss b108.  i miss seoul and everything it has to offer.  cambridge is disappointing.  oona’s got screwed over and is now cleaner and more organized than i see fit.  a stag visit to garment district tomorrow, followed by a sean kingston concerto.

it seems as though once your life begins changing, it continues to change and change and change, and then you’re left with a pile of befuddlement, and you don’t quite know what to do.  in my case, i suppose all i can do, is read, learn, run, and make do with the situation i’ve got.  maybe a vacation is in order… though i suppose this one hasn’t ended quite yet.

perhaps in this instance, distance is for the greater good- and whatever is there may survive (though knowing how i work, it won’t).  i can dream though.  awaiting on fucking photoshops to develop my shit- though i’ll be incredibly reluctant to look at the photos because i’ll just be even more weary of my surroundings.

so it goes… life is

everything and nothing.  why can’t you just be next to me thinking these thoughts and making this normal?

Standard
enfin's reality, music, photography

smokin that !@#%

rest in peace blank roll of film.  i don’t remember what images decorated your frames, but i’m sure i would have liked most of them.  here are some more film-scans.

we were on a boat, 30 miles out. le crew de sos.

ms shrada’s self-portrait.

independence day- anna joyce

pemaquid point- woke up to this for two weeks.

pre-max’s emergency room visit

along 101

this wins favorite photo of the past three months.

greek yoghurt gods smiled at me.

monhegan, maine.

i plan on sittin’ on the porch and sipping a corona with lime soon.  how soon, i do not know.  but plans usually formulate in my world.

tomorrow: relaxing, beach, falls, baseball game with family involved, beginning to pack shiet up for SKOR.  so enthused.  hope i don’t shoot blank rolls in korea. so excited, so excited. kim jong il better greet me with open arms, and a bottle of vin.

-enfin

Standard
enfin's reality

white wine and sunflowers

through my hands drips the summertime, quickly, and unable to be defeated.  hours and days fly by, and with each new morning comes a new adventure.  camping was unreal- so refreshing, and necessary.  i come back rejeuvenated and blissful.  alpha/beta crews reaped havoc and had many irreplaceable escapades.  and not to brag, but we lived the high life.  fresh oysters on our boat, sunbaths, 11 days of gorgeous weather, sea-kayaking to an island privee, and beach fires.  of course the folks i surrounded myself with were great- and i’m happy that we’ve become close over the past month.

but i also have had a few adventures since.  bumming around portland with m and mr. i, eating at boda, sitting under trees, watching the sunset.  but even more recently- running off to yarmouth, perusing the tracks, jumping off the 40ft tressel, river swims, and night rides.  i’m so happy right now, i wouldn’t want to change anything.  i’m headed to korea in 12 days, which is still a bit unreal for me.  thankfully i’ll be in the company of two cool cats and many others.  boston for a week beginning the 24th, and then a long weekend camping near cadillac.  Oh how i adore the summer season.

enfin

postscriptum: i shnagged a pretty sweet book last evening- white wine for dummies.  that’s riight.

Standard
enfin's reality

instantaneous reactions

Older_italian_couple_large

my day was full of wonderful occurences and good company.  truth be told, i feel as though so much time has passed by since i last divulged my life on the interweb, but at the same time, i also feel like i haven’t had much to say, because i haven’t cared to dillute life to the point where i can say it concisely and expect one to connect with the happenings i’ve been involved with.  being just as i’m supposed to be has been rather terrifying, because for once, i’m not ruled by some superficial expectations.  being present and intune is what matters.  happiness is key to all that makes my universe turn.  i’ve had numberless conversations in the past two weeks about life, death, and what we are meant to do.  i’ve decided most questions are meant to have answers, and answers only complicate things.  when something is, then what else could you need? you just are.

Tumblr_l4t2i9sk1n1qbszm3o1_500_large

Tumblr_l45mtsvde41qzcg4fo1_500_large

i don’t mean to come off as metaphoric as i currently am, but that’s the problem with verbal communication- you are always misunderstood.  we have allowed words to dictate our lives and we feel according to the definition and restrictions of a word.  and even if you feel something you’ve never experienced, one invents a restriction- a word that is what you feel, and once again, another definition is institutionalized and generalized for the entire human race.  i think that is our downfall- our communication and our need for reassurance for our advancment.  but how can i change the way we’ve been made? who am i to put forth an effort, only to be hindered by the highs of society who already know of what it is i believe? i’m not sure… and because of that, here i am, typing this, sitting here, instead of going out and doing something.

today i learned- i chose a new path.  i discovered my faults and i’ve begun to admit them.  i’ve been trying to distract myself with reading, because i suppose reality is rather discontent when i start to thoroughly think about it.  i’m trying to skip small talk with people and have indepth discussions of faith, purpose, and reaction.  i’ve been inspired to think outside this realm, only to find reason to ration and everything else that looks so green from the other side of the grass.  i just realized that i’ve been ranting about everything i’m feeling– instead of sugarcoating everything with just a “day’s account”.  the artwalk was incredibly overwhelming- too many people and faces and voices and questions.  horribly awkward moments shoved into one another, and missed opportunities only to be mistaken with false hope and pseudo-reality.  i’m not sure in which direction i’m headed, yet i do know that i am listening to my instinct.  oh, how i haven’t the faintest idea of what’s around the bend.

Standard
enfin's reality, links

believe it or not,

it’s been a crazy start to summer thus far.  i took a short hiatus, because i was simply enjoying life sans a worry to enter the blogosphere.  last year, around this time, portland was plagued with a permanent rain cloud, but needless to say, the weather currently has been more than i could have asked for.  80s every day, sunny, breezy, and wunderbar.  in addition to the fantastic weather, you could say that i’ve had a pretty stacked past week and a half.  besides going to d.c. and meeting some really awesome people, i also made a bit of cash, saw Ted Leo & the Rx at SPACE, had a picnic on the west end, ate tortellini pizza from enzo’s on the eastern prom underneath the delicious rays of the sun with Izac, saw KARATE kid, and then, of course, took a beach vacation with annie- complete with milanos and strawberry pie, and sunbeams.  not to mention, i’ve been jammin’ to Drake…yes, uncharacteristic of me, but his tunes are making me quite cheery.  i’ve got to buy some film, save some cash, work on my beverage regimine, cook some grub, and sleep.  tomorrow, therapy, working, farmer’s mkt, clothing swap. ridiculously busy, but just the way i need it.  i’m tryin’ to capture summer, but i’m lacking the funds to purchse batteries.  splurged a healthy half of a typical day at work’s income on RUSK hair product…. what else will i make a foolish decision about.

Tumblr_l4fobrjkyi1qc2fyyo1_500_large

as if i should be leaving for the NO, i’ve decided i’d rather make the trip come autumn so i could miss some class and not have to worry about payin’ for my ticket.  on a darker note, i’d like to discuss something quite tragic.

thursday evening, garrett cormier, a 16 year old boy in my graduating class, died in falmouth.  i didn’t know garrett too well, in fact, it’s quite possible him and i never exchanged any words, but his death has effected me greatly.  he was the first kid who has passed away in my class, and it was yet another wake up call that life is way too short.  i feel so much sorrow for his family, and my heart goes out to them.  he didn’t deserve to die young, he was honestly, a rather good person, and extremely loyal from hearsay.  there’s not much i can do, but reflect.  it’s actually coming up on the year anniversary of my father’s death- next monday.  i’m a bit sad, and i’ve cried a good amount the past few weeks.  i don’t think i want to understand death, but the entire idea of it, is really terrifying and i dislike it so much- but i do accept it.  there’s no hiding from death’s dark hand.  it’s part of life, and everyone ends up in the same place. my friend made a wonderful point about reincarnation, which was, that really is the optimistic way to look at what comes after death.  i think that whatever you believe in is what happens to you after you pass… so i suppose i need to find a faith of some sort.  a new start, a new me, a new life.

enfinoui

i’m ridin’ through the city with my high beams on- can ya see me, can ya see me, get yo’ visine on.

Standard