enfin's reality

i love you, i like you, i hate you.


you have no idea how much i want some mcdonalds right now. it’s somewhat embarassing that i’m craving this heart-attack renderer, but it looks so good, and i’ve been eating tofu for the past three weeks.  this past holiday weekend left a bitter taste in my mouth.  while i love extra days off, i felt as though all my visits with a myriad of friends lacked something.  saturday i was full of remorse and could barely conjure up enough strength to get out of my jammies to meet the day.  tis why i stayed inside until late that evening when i decided to venture outward, as to party until the sun came up.  ironically, i chose not to, and instead found myself sitting across from fortman at norms engrossed in a conversation with two of my favorite regulars- bruce and tom.  the remainder of the weekend kind of fell flat, i feel justified to say.  i cooked dinner sunday evening for M & A and produced this wonderful dessert consisting of phyllo dough, hazelnuts, sugar, maple syrup infused whipped cream, and strawberries.  i also caught the end titles of Mad Men with Mr. I.


Monday brought about endless piles of half-completed homework.  i drank too many cups of caffine, and i fell asleep without being properly prepared for what tuesday would bring.  now i find myself, on this wonderful wednesday evening, a day ahead of schedule, with a throbbing headache.  marilyn monroe is regulating my thoughts per usual, and i have been filled with a sensation of contentedness, and i know not why.


to celebrate the month of october, i am reading frankenstein, which proves to be everything pride and prejudice was not.  this is engaging, captivating, and vivid, where as jane austen’s masterpiece was a somber critique of the social evolution of 19th century england.  i found a wonderful recipe for panna cotta, which i’m so enthused by.  i’m unsure as to whether or not i want to pursue that tomorrow evening, or if i’d prefer baking a blackberry fig pie.  saturday renders those horrible standardized tests, though i’m in part glad, because then i will be able to sleep all afternoon with a proper excuse.  i’m trying to allot myself time to keep adding to my play, though i seem to be losing more time than i am gaining it.  so it goes, i suppose.  i’ve decided that it’s time to go back to therapy, seeing as i could use another POV that isn’t biased and comes from someone familiar.

i’ll drop off film tomorrow or on friday… depending on how productive i’d like to be.


enfin's reality, Uncategorized

sight is fleeing?

i wonder if my health is deteriorating? when i am concentrating, i often brush my eye-lid lightly with my index finger, and seriously, just five minutes ago, i felt a raised bump on the inside lid. now i’m panicking! what happens if i’m losing my sight!?!?!? in addition, this morning, i got a breakfast sandwich at school, and i thought i spread ketchup on it, but i ended up putting barbeque sauce on it. such a wonderful way to start a wednesday.


after researching my health condition, no, i’m not a hypochondriac, i’ve narrowed it down to the following possibilities: one i am going blind (unlikely, but as always worst case scenario comes first), two: chalazion, which is a bump in the eyelid and its just swelling of the glands but still, they can get larger than 1/8th of an inch, and the third possibility is stye and or pink eye, which i’ve had multiple times! its sort of embarrassing. but at the same time, i’m hoping its one of the latter two. i cherish my vision too much to lose it.