enfin's reality, music, writing

stranded in the woods sans les murs

surprise! i have interweb.  i’m not surprised actually- in fact, i’m a bit more disappointed than i ought to be.  walpole, isn’t too remote, and the marine center is affiliated with the university, so obviously i have connection.  i was infested today.

infested with thoughts, and words and bubbling hatred.  my mind is cynical right now.  it goes through many phases, and it always has, but currently, i’m a bitter bitch and i couldn’t care less.  i suppose this is because i didn’t read any tao of pooh for the past few days, but so what? i had better things to do.  like flip people off, get escorted off the premises, and eat fried food.  oh that’s the life.  not that i miss any of it.  in fact, i’ve sort of missed the roomate situation thing- especially since coming back from d.c. jmilz was in a league of her own, but there’s always a form of comfort with having two people to vent to, especially when they have the same views as you do.  it doesn’t even matter if you’re interested in the same sorts of things, just not being judged while in their presence is what i like.

but yes. my mind is sort of weeping.  weeping pleas and hopes and demands.  i feel like he’s a leech and all he does is suck suck suck my energy away from me.  i’m followed like a puppy dog’s owner, and i want some time to reflect, to dissapate my thoughts.  i am slowly feeling my mind floating above my head.  balancing, shining, giving off an aura.  too bad that’s all imagery.  too bad that doesn’t happen in real life.  

let’s light stuff on fire

grievously pious, and piously grieving.  take heed, tread and stop.
i need some ten feet away, so you can’t detect that tanline,
and i can’t detect that face.  being, stopping, reoccurring.
match the strides, and slow them down.  differentiate.  
educate…annihilate.  flickering eyes, slippery tongues,
ruby slippers in boxes that house bowls, and herb and zippos galore.
refuting arguments, trampled confidence, coincide with why i
hate you.  raking my face with your smug gestures
cursing your name and burning your clothes.  i hate you.  i want you at an arms-length distance,
or at least ten miles away.
you stand by me, when i bid you good riddance, and you disappear when i need you most.
what can i make of you? what i want is not what you can give,
thus i am only hear to teach you a lesson,
move on
and scar your heart.

someone drop a beat for that serious shit up there.  poetry never felt so good.  i’m hating and down and ready to fucking lay my head and see the stars.  more boat time tomorrow. perhaps my blog entries will end after this.  they sure as hell will by friday, that’s when i’m officially gone lovelies.


enfin's reality

uptown girl




this past weekend was rather lovely for a few reasons.  the first being being in the company of my family, who i adore ever so much- and enjoying the marriage of my cousin and her fiance.  they’re off to italy for ten days as of tomorrow- venice, florence, rome, and sicilly.  a nice deal to tell you the truth.  i’d like to be in their place right now- not to say that i have a fiance, or anything close for that matter, but it’d be nice to travel to italy for the next ten days.  i stayed up a bit too late last evening & drank too much wine (but i had an excuse this time, because it was in fact a big italian wedding).  but the night turned to day and a & i made our way into cambridge once more to enjoy the 80 degree weather and two bacon cheeseburgers at tory rowe.  as an afterthought we spent sometime in LUSH and i ended up shelling out a bit too much cash on some soaps and masks and toners and all that lovely stuff.  we ended our day eating tiramisu frozen yogurt from JP licks and then travelling back to portland, only to be met with great sadness.  not to get my hopes up or anything, a is looking for work down in boston, so perhaps in a year or so we will be relocating (and that would be FINE in my book).



when this week ends, i have two weeks left- so bring on the finals, bring on the studying, the relentless weather, the miserable teachers, and antsy children, bring it on, and expect to be defeated by june 11th, 2010.  summer plans are getting ironed out so that they’re crisp and clear as of june 7th.  i’m hoping to travel to DC and south korea, as well as spend a good chunk of time in boston in the latter part of august as well as june.  july is jam-packed with all sorts of things (the SOS program, my grandfather, family gatherings, birthdays, and… maybe the pitchfork music fest!) i just would like to see how everything sorts themselves out, and i’m open to whatever happens. 

the fog is rolling in, my eyes are drooping like wilting petunias and i need to take my beauty sleep. i’m making a surprise dinner & dessert tomorrow…and on tuesday evening i will be listening to some jazz over drinks.

oh, and LOST, so insane, and i can’t even say if i liked the way it turned out yet. tomorrow, tomorrow.  go and sleep blogosphere.