enfin's reality, music, photography

deterioration

j. ledue photo

this week passed by in what seemed like a very drawn out moment.Β  i jammed out to dark dark dark at space with some pals, and i got tea with some friends, practiced a lot of yoga, made a lot of food, slept a grand total of 16 hours over the entirety of the week, and then painted myself in glow in the dark paint, dressed up as a girl scout, and got crunk to MJ with lyllie.Β  last evening was the highlight, just because everything was just a hot mess.Β  i mean, i suppose what i learned is that i’m really grateful that i have such good female friends, and i’m also glad that they are who they are.Β 

this morning started out fantastically, what with making a potato frittata and homemade granola for lyllie, and relaxing.Β  then the day started to turn for the worse.Β  as it seems to be a predictable pattern, i sulked over “spilled milk” if you will, and tried to better my overall mood with a big cup of black coffee, which i only drink when i’m off the wall angry.Β  but my femme friends were there to try to help me- and they did, sort of.Β  i’m glad that they were, because if they weren’t then i’d still be fuming opposed to now being solely frustrated.Β  as far as what the day shall bring, i’m unsure.Β  i don’t care at this point.Β  i just want to go do something fun to relieve my mind of this current agitation.

alien girl scoutz

maybe i’ll just go take a nap and listen to some records. or maybe i’ll go read on the promenade, though i don’t feel like walking up there for the second time today.Β  maybe i’ll just watch every episode of jaime oliver at home.Β  or perhaps i’ll just conjure up a menu for the dinner party that i’m planning.Β  i don’t know.Β  i suppose i should update vin et grub.Β  i hope that tomorrow will be fulfilling.Β  but then again, i lack plans.Β  AGH.Β  i’m indecisive and definitely not eloquent.Β  MORE coffee wakes the dead.Β  sleepysleepysleepysleep.

this photo was taken by m. nichols- isn’t it fantastic? it’s so beautiful.

lovelovelove and indecisiveness.

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i am. i am.. i am…

today didn’t bring much to the table of life i suppose.Β  i believe i felt dread and misery (although, they are the same thing- yes?) when I awoke, but my morning changed when little Trout joined me on the couch and nestled into my lap. unfortunately, that lasted about five mintues before i had to run- which i did, ever so fast.Β  hell…was exactly that, hell.Β  the folks are quite difficult to connect with- and i believe i told one to never speak with me as long as either one of us remained alive and breathing.Β  he asked why i was an angry person and then suggested we spend time together. in response to that. one) i am not an angry person; the reason why i am rude to those who i have no interest in is simply that. i have no interest. two) i do not waste my time with people who i have no interest in- please refer to one. after school got out,Β i ended up getting tea, i ran into bela, and then ended up at norms for a quick hello to my favorite crew in portland. its unfortunate i’m predictable.

five hours later, i’m at a stranger’s house, babysitting/blogging. i have nothing interesting to say.Β  TALK IS CHEAP is shaping up.

I am feeling: as though my waist is being squished, hungry, tired, eyebrow itches, wondering what tomorrow brings, hopeful for thursday at 5:15pm and then for Friday at the same time.Β  What are you hopeful for? If anything..

enfin

as a post-script: i drew friedrich nietzsche today and he looks LOVELY.

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