if you stand by me

The past few weeks have been filled with an intense array of emotions and experiences.  I found myself wondering, on numerous occasions, when I would find that person, or that place, or that thing that would just make sense.  I found a great friend, and I’m glad I have her support and humor to get me through the summer heat.  But since then, I’ve also discovered two things that just click.

I found my little nook.  I found the coffee shop that I just needed, and it’s there where I feel not only nostalgic, but so happy just to be.  Interesting people, delicious coffee, and just an overall appealing atmosphere. I’m happy there, just like I was happy at Bard, Speckled Ax, and Tandem.  And it’s hidden which makes it only more appealing to me.

And what about the other thing? Well, let me put it this way.  I’m not one who easily believes in fate or serendipity, but if either of those things exist, then I experienced both yesterday.  They were a pleasant surprise in the middle of a subpar day.  And I guess, it was just meant to be.

The Vineyard has it’s moments, but I can honestly say I haven’t had a bad time yet.  On my only visit to Portland so far, I felt a little out of sorts.  All the anxiety I had before I left hit me immediately upon arrival.  The streets were unappealing, and the time short.  I don’t know quite what to make of that other than the obvious which is that I really can’t go back permanently, nor do I want to, if I’m being entirely blunt here.

I can’t see myself living on the Vineyard past a certain point, but I really can’t see myself moving back to Portland either.

Currently: sipping coffee, listening to santigold, and getting ready for retail.  Pining to cook and make merry with others.


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