enfin's reality

searching

i’ve been hiding in my own world for quite some time- for good and bad reasons, but that soon shall end.  the early fall has diminished, and now i’m finding myself in cold weather, grey skies, and hot cups of coffee kinda days.

what exactly have i been doing? where have i been? well, since the last time, much has changed.  i’ve moved down by the water into a temporary home, found a new job (hello pastry chef), and have decided my next steps.  cloak and daggers have consumed me, along with fair company, routine, and a sense of being okay with being okay.  autumn disappeared quickly; in comparison to last years’, i found that this was much more relaxing.  and i also found, that despite certain circumstances, i was happier.

and now i find myself torn- between being happy to leave relatively soon, and being content with where i’m at.  maine is still temporary.  another journey to my homeland is in the near future, along with a short trip to europe perhaps.  just a few more months, and i’ll be gone.  bittersweet.  but everything ends.

regarding happiness.  it’s come, it’s lingered, it’s been subtle- but it’s been different this time.  interesting to say the least, but i’m not giving it much thought.  it is what it is.  analysis hasn’t a place in this situation.  i’ll just revel in what i have for now.  cautiously of course.

regarding my flat.  it’s quaint, it’s domesticated, it’s mine and all mine.  it’s as close to home as i’ll ever let myself get.  it’s just a roof afterall.

regarding my new job.  pastry is ultimately the direction i wish to head in, and while i had a sliver of that this past spring, i could barely contain my yearning to do more, as well as managing the restrictions placed upon me.  so what i’m beginning soon will only be a step in the right direction.

regarding cloak and dagger and other projects.  we’ve received a fair amount of publicity in the past few weeks, which has worked in our favor.  to be honest, i was scared it was heading down the shitter, and while everything must end, i had hoped that cloak and dagger would remain in Maine for at least a year.  i have plans of dragging it with me wherever i shall go, but i think Portland can stand a few more months of underground dinners.  alternative projects? a dim sum pop up to be opened this spring.  get your steamed buns and dumplings from the two vietnamese kids on the block– interested in joining forces in the Chinese Laundry or Cloak and Dagger? Let me know.

regarding my rambling? i’ve keyed you into the most recent events in my boring life.  perhaps i’ll make this a regular thing.

perhaps not.

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