enfin's reality

portland hardcore

i was disappointed waking up to a rainy (and not to mention dreary) monday.  i was even more disappointed when i figured that i needed to get to class seeing as i don’t need anymore lates for the quarter.  the last thing that made me disappointed was the portland hardcore scene! i was going to go to the Apohadion on what was it…saturday evening? but i didn’t because i fell asleep watching House… go figure.  I could’ve really used going to a show because for the past few weeks i wouldn’t exactly say that my life has been the definition of the word “fun”.  i have been banasuic to say the least.  i haven’t seen many folks who i enjoy, but come to think of it, do i enjoy anyone? no… not really.  maybe a few people. but that’s not the issue.  the issue is that i missed the show and i could have prevented that by not being so sad because on saturday the entire world avoided me and my shenanigans. thus i fell asleep albeit being wide awake and ready for whatever saturday evening threw at me, which happened to be a futon and a tv with loaded cable, and a frozen dinner.  i was a bit sad yesterday but i suppose my sorrow has been expressed in the correct manner today.  in addition to how terrible my monday has been thus far let’s take a look at what’s to come.  well, i’m only in first block, thus second, third and fourth, promise to be just as forboding as well as disappointing as the weekend.  math especially.  i don’t even understand how to use a calculator to my benefit.  then again i haven’t been trying, so i suppose my inspiration level has sunk to new levels! french and latin are never fun, i’ve bitched about them many times, and today doesn’t promise to be different from any other class this entire year. but oh no! my day doesn’t end there… it ends after tennis ends, which promises to be wretched in every single way.  its my fault really.  i’ve had a gym membership since january 6th and i haven’t gone.  so much for trying to elongate my life span.  being out of shape isn’t my problem, i’m rather slender and i haven’t put on weight, but my endurance SUCKS and i probably can barely stand to run a mile.  that makes me sort of sad, but all in good time, all in good time, right? I sure hope so.  right, so tennis is from 3-5, which is not my ideal time span.  can’t say i miss the sport.  i suppose i only have one more season after this current one to participate in.  guess that’s something to look forward to.  i know i complain an awful lot about my high school life, but its really terrible.  not as bad as it could be, sure, but i hate it nonetheless and i don’t think i can appreciate it, no matter how hard i try.  i ruined film again.  so much for being me.  i suppose the only thing i’d like to do today would be finish my story, drink a few cafe au laits in arabica, and watch the food network from the comfort of my home! too bad that won’t happen.  too bad nothing will happen.

i need to remember perserverance and school will be over in five hours.  that’s what i have to remember.

rain rain go away enfin hates you and everything else!

enfinlove (hate today)

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