floating over babylon

let’s cross our fingers

enfinoui — Sat, 25 May 2013 03:01:44 +0000

bam! just sent in stagier requests to mugaritz for 12 months starting in january. let’s hope that i get some sort of response…!!!!

dad & buddy, help me towards this!

now i know

enfinoui — Tue, 21 May 2013 03:21:47 +0000

it’s been a day full of nostalgia- with films, music, food, and friends. i’ve realized just how great the last year was. how happy, successful, sad, prosperous, and fun it turned out to be. and now i await what’s around the corner. i hope it happens. i don’t want to see it sans toi.

i’d forgotten the magic of edward sharpe. after all this time i’m still a sucker for 40 day dream.

a light dinner of steamed silken tofu, coconut rice, cilantro, and chilis.

a light snack of burnt toast, radish, butter, and cheese.

some time spent packing a box that’s being prepared to travel some distance.

some time spent listening to oldies. and sad ones as well.

i’m feeling ok.

i miss my friends though. meredith. annie. anna. nicholas. johnny. isaac. i love you all.

janglin on to my own beat. building terrariums in my sleep. in desperate need of the sun and berries. and a big fucking negroni. campari, vermouth, gin, i miss your wonderful qualities. and hey, a big ol’ vodka martini is also missed. just not as much as the following, zen, and the porch is missed.

the truth

enfinoui — Mon, 13 May 2013 13:10:12 +0000

Let me start out by saying, this isn’t meant to offend anyone. I miss Portland, and I miss a few people, but I’ve seemed to forgotten how sometimes they’re the biggest disappointments in my life. The island is drowsy at the moment, but slowly awakening. And maybe, despite the fact that I feel like, and want to have, people in my life, it’s just a bad idea.

Whatever though. Make your own fucking mistakes.

right around the corner//i’ll never forget it

enfinoui — Mon, 06 May 2013 01:56:21 +0000

this summer is bringing quite a bit of change to my life, and while i’m excited, i will admit that the next 5 days are hanging over me like ominous clouds. i’m going to miss some irreplaceable people and places in portland. and while i’m not overseas yet, it’s still sad to have to say good bye. especially when it’s not necessarily an easy good bye.

but after the next five days, then i can say that i’ll be making active changes. i’m going back to being a vegetarian, which i never thought i’d ever say, but i think that i honestly need to cleanse. i’m going back to practicing yoga, reading books, and making my dinners. i’m going back to being alone for the majority of my time. i’m nervous and excited and sad. and i’m overwhelmed. i don’t want to lose the people i have back here, and can honestly say, that i really am concerned about that. i hope that i don’t. but i know that i will.

i am, in all truth, feeling lost. and i have no idea what to expect. so i’m just going to feel for the next five days. and savor every moment.

the next five months

enfinoui — Thu, 25 Apr 2013 00:52:07 +0000

i’ll be living on Martha’s Vineyard. working, sun-bathing, and cooking around. i expect to have a few visitors from may through october, so make sure you can make a few days available for vineyard shenanigans… clams and playing tennis to name just a few.

i’m ready to leave portland, but a little sad too. i’ll miss my cats and my coffee. i’ll miss you, woodrow, along with johnny, and anna.

so much to do between now and then.

enfinoui — Sun, 07 Apr 2013 23:15:37 +0000

Downing manhattans is such a bad idea

plans and maps (head over heels)

enfinoui — Sat, 16 Mar 2013 15:01:59 +0000

i was vague in the last post, and that of course is one of my biggest pet peeves. clarification is always necessary (unless it’s for romantic mystery of course), so here goes exactly that. some clarification for those interested.

i’m leaving portland as quickly as humanly possible. i’m headed to denmark, sweden, greece, italy, and france for the summer. what will i be doing? farming and reading. i can’t take much more of portland before i officially snap. getting out of here is what i’ve needed for such a long time, and now i’ve decided to finally pull the trigger. i’m beyond anxious and excited for my journey, but at the same time, slightly morose to leave behind three individuals (plus family, of course) in portland.

these three have meant so much to me in the past year. they’ve been my biggest supporters, my best friends, and my closet family. i love them all dearly, and am sad to be unable to physically share my upcoming experiences with them.

what i’ll miss: our weekly dinners talking about anything from conspiracy theory to jackie chan, indulgences in the occasional downer, and the unmistakable quirky guidance. i’ll miss times spent on the back porch, sitting in the sun, drinking coffee, cooking together, watching copious amounts of television, chinese food and cocktails, wednesday farmer’s markets, each other’s stubbornness. i’ll miss wine time, arguing, reality tv show, cozy abodes, mutual dependence. i’ll miss so much more. so much more.

you’ll all be on my mind. there’s no way around that.

but here’s to the future. to europe, and then to asia. and from there, who knows? everything’s up in the air, and for once, i’ve never felt more relieved to be without a plan.

shortly

enfinoui — Thu, 14 Mar 2013 21:14:31 +0000

i’ve decided to leave sooner rather than later. this town has only brought me down. i’d rather not submit to the depths of the depression i’ve been experiencing. mid-may marks my departure. i just can’t handle it anymore.

enfinoui — Mon, 04 Mar 2013 01:54:05 +0000

—-also my heart is breaking over the end of cloak & dagger. i’ll miss it.

enfinoui — Mon, 04 Mar 2013 01:52:38 +0000

i guess it’s true what they say. all you have in life is yourself.

i miss my friends. i miss my family. but i need to get away.

where to go, where to go, where to go?

somewhere to find myself. somewhere strange and unknown. somewhere to find what i’m looking for.